Only a Matter of Time Before I Lose Mine
by secretdreamerhere
Summary: When Emma Swan is rushed to hospital 8 months into her pregnancy, Killian Jones can only sit and wait helplessly for news. He fills the time by thinking of Emma; all of the times that they shared, and all of the times that may not get the chance to experience.
1. Chapter 1

Killian ran his right hand over his hook, staring so intently at the attachment that he could burn a hole in the metal. His left leg had been constantly juddering since David had convinced him to sit down, stating that the pirate's pacing wasn't helping anyone. Least of all Emma. It was the mention of her name that had managed to pull him out of his daze and listen to his father-in-law's reasoning. Well future father-in-law, seeing as he hadn't actually put a ring on Emma's finger yet. _Maybe now you will never get the chance_. He ignored the voice in his head and just thought about Emma. His Emma. And the life they would have together. His mind went back to 6 months previously, when she told him. When she gave him everything.

 _Emma was sat at their kitchen table when he walked in from the end of a long day working at the docks; after he returned from the Underworld they both agreed that they needed to start living their future, which included him getting a proper job in Storybrooke. She had made him a steak dinner, and the table was set with the delicate plates that only surface on special occasions with a candle as a centrepiece._

" _What's all this for?" He asked as he swaggered over to Emma and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, before shaking off his jacket and sitting down on the chair opposite her._

" _Just thought I'd do something nice for you." Emma spoke softly as she reached across the table and took his hand in her own. "I know how hard you've been working these past few weeks, even though it's not exactly captaining a ship."_

 _Killian could tell by the glint in her eyes that this wasn't the whole story. Had she really forgotten how he could read her like an open book? Anyway he wasn't going to delve further as he was sure that her true purpose would be made clear in due course. "Well I thank you love, but you know that you don't have to do this. You've worked today as well, and I'm sure upholding the law of the whole town is more taxing than the up keep of a few boats."_

 _In response Emma merely shot him a little smile and squeezed his hand._

 _They barely talked as they ate. Killian occasionally chatted about his day at the docks and, even though Emma smiled along nodding at the right moments, he could tell that her mind was elsewhere._

 _Once they had finished and Killian cleared the table, leaving the plates to soak in the sink, Emma led him over to the couch. She started to kiss him, gently at first and then more passionately, her hands reaching up to roam through his hair. Killian nearly lost himself in her embrace before the nagging feeling from dinner hit once again. He pulled away from her and the look in her eyes urged him to kiss her again. Instead he brought her hand up to his lips kissing it lightly, and then letting his mouth brush over her skin as he spoke._

" _So are you going to tell me what's really going on then, Emma?" Killian stared into her eyes intently, searching for some clue between her long lashes. "Or do I have to continue pretending to believe that this is all just spur of the moment."_

" _I'll just be a minute. Be patient." She said with a wink and then hurried off. Killian stared after her as she ran up the stairs and disappeared from view. His mind was trying to work out what was so special about that day. It wasn't any anniversary that he could think of, and the day that they had picked for his birthday had passed a couple of months ago._

 _Killian was still looking in the direction of the stairs when Emma came down them, waking him from his thoughts. She softly walked over to him with one hand behind her back holding something._

" _Close your eyes and hold out your hands, well hand, pirate." She said as she stood in front of him with a mischievous grin. Killian looked at her questioningly, but did as she said, his burning curiosity getting the better of him. He felt her place something soft in his hand and it took all of his control to not open his eyes immediately. He didn't want to ruin whatever surprise she had planned for him._

 _He sat there in silence for what seemed like a painstakingly long time, for he was beginning to grow anxious that he had indeed forgotten something important. Something that was important to Emma._

" _Open your eyes then." The first word had barely left Emma's lips before his eyelids flung open and his gaze landed on the object in his hand. It was some blue material wrapped around itself. He lifted his eyes to look at Emma with a confused expression, to which she replied with an encouraging nod of her head. Killian raised an eyebrow at her as he again focused his gaze on the subject of this evening. Using his hook, he started to unwrap the cotton material and discovered that it had been hiding something. A white stick with a two small pink lines displayed on the screen. He placed the material on the couch and looked up at Emma for an explanation. A wave of worry rushed over him when he saw that her eyes were welling with tears._

" _What is it Emma? What's wrong?" Killian asked dropping the stick to the floor as he reached to cup her cheek with his hand. As soon as his skin touched hers, a lone tear escaped from her left eye and ran down her face. Killian caught it with his thumb and rubbed it away, completely unaware of the reason behind her emotional state._

 _Emma smiled weakly and cast her eyes down to the blue material on the couch. Killian followed her gaze and picked up the article with his hook. He now saw that it was a small blue onesie with writing on the front. He lay it on his lap, reading the large white and red writing: 'Daddy's Little Pirate'. The special aspect of the day hit Killian full force, all the pieces of the puzzle finally slotting together. He stared at the baby-grow in silence for ages, this time it was of his own choice._

" _Well say something… Killian." Emma's voice was soft and he could tell that she was trying to keep calm about the situation. He lifted his head and looked into her eyes for the first time since the news had hit. He could see that she wanted him to tell her everything would be okay. That he wouldn't leave her like everyone else._

" _I...you…er…we…" Killian tried to speak but it was as if his throat had clamped shut. Any words that were forced out came up in a barely audible squeak._

" _Are you not happy?" Emma's expression wavered and more tears fell down her cheeks as doubt clouded her eyes._

" _No…no I'm not." Killian managed to find his voice after seeing the despair on Emma's face. Emma lowered her head and started to shake after hearing his words. He took her hand in his and forced her to meet his eyes. "I'm thrilled." He said with a huge grin crossing his face. She let out a relieved laugh and looked as if she wasn't sure whether to hit him or kiss him. He decided not to let her decide and lent forward to capture her lips in a slow gentle loving kiss. And hell did he love her. His Emma who had given him everything he had ever wished for. And would now make him a father. Him. Captain Hook. A family of his own. He couldn't believe it._

"Killian…Killian…HOOK!"

Killian was snapped out his memories by David calling his name. He jumped up from his seat as soon as he saw that Dr Whale was now present in the relatives' room. He took in the doctor's sombre expression and his heart stopped in his throat.

"It seems that Emma has gone into premature labour and –" The doctor started to explain in a calm mechanical tone, one which all medical professionals excel at over time.

"What the bloody hell does that mean?" Killian interrupted as he stepped towards Whale, planning to take out his frustration on the unsuspecting doctor. David got to him first and pushed Killian away to the other side of the room, leaving Snow to speak with Whale about Emma's condition.

"You need to calm down Killian. For Emma's sake." David harsh tone immediately softened when he saw the look in the pirate's eyes as he slumped down onto a chair. David placed one opposite Killian and sat down to face the broken man in front of him. "I know this is hard for you. It's hard for all of us. That's my daughter in there right now and I am terrified. But I'm keeping it together for Snow, and for Emma. You need to try to do the same."

Killian looked up at the man in front of him and he could see why he was a prince, a leader. "Aye, I think I can manage that."

"Have faith." David said as he got up clapping Killian on the shoulder, before making his way back over to his wife.

Killian sat in silence, once again turning his attention to his hook, whilst willing with all his mite that Emma was going to be ok. She had to be.


	2. Chapter 2

Killian found himself wandering the corridors of the hospital. After sitting down for the best part of an hour with the Charming's, he had told them that he had to clear his head. He had looked in the direction of the ICU where he knew that Emma was lying unconscious and alone. How he wished that he could go to her, hold her hand and reassure her that everything was going to be alright. Maybe it would help him to actually believe that too. He didn't know where he was heading, he didn't realise that he had an actual destination, until he got there.

'Maternity Ward' was written in huge white letters on the navy blue sign. Killian stared up at the sign as he felt the hot prick of tears threaten to spill from his eyes. He closed his eyes and pressed his thumbs firmly into his eyelids to try to get a hold of himself. For Emma.

He opened his eyes as he heard the heavy automatic doors swing open. His eyes fell on a man holding a woman's hand; she must have been about 6 months pregnant. The man gave Killian a nod as he moved to the side to let Killian through the door. He wasn't sure why he went in. He thought that he should just go back to the Charming's and wait for news on Emma. There was no use torturing himself with the sight of happy expectant parents when his future happiness was so uncertain. However, as he sat down on the chair in the maternity ward's waiting room, he found the atmosphere more comforting than anything else. His mind went back to when he first brought Emma here, or rather she brought him.

 _"_ _So remind me again what's actually going to happen today?" Killian asked as he and Emma took their seats in the waiting room._

 _"_ _It's a scan to make sure that everything's ok with the baby. We should be able to see it now, if I remember correctly." Emma smiled, taking hold of his hand in her own._

 _"_ _How are we going to see it? I still don't get how this 'machine' won't harm the baby. Or you. Are you entirely certain that –" Killian eyes flitted between Emma's own and her stomach. She laughed sweetly at his nervousness and interrupted him with a slow loving kiss on the lips._

 _"_ _I'll be fine." Emma stated reassuringly, bringing Killian's hand to her stomach. "We'll be fine."_

 _"_ _If you say so, love." Killian still wasn't entirely convinced, but he trusted Emma enough to believe that she wouldn't risk any harm coming to their child._

 _They sat in silence for a little while longer, Killian absentmindedly rubbing small circles on the back of Emma's hand with his thumb._

 _"_ _Emma Swan." A nurse calling their name broke the calm aura surrounding them. Emma stood up first, giving Killian's hand one last squeeze before letting go and walking towards the nurse. Killian took in a deep breath and stood up, following behind the two women. He tried to shove his worries to the back of his mind, as Emma lay down on the bed and he took a seat next to her. He immediately held onto her hand again, as an attempt to try to stop his from shaking._

 _The nurse looked over at them and smiled. "A little nervous are we?" She asked looking at Emma, even though Killian was sure that she knew that it was him who needed help. "Well there's absolutely nothing to worry about. A lot of first time parents can feel-"_

 _"_ _This is my second, actually." Emma said propping herself up on her elbows. Killian had felt her hand slightly tense at the nurse's words, but she had managed to keep her 'prickliness' out of her voice. Mostly._

 _"_ _Oh how lovely. How old is the little one?" The nurse rolled up Emma's top and spread some sort of gunk onto her stomach. Killian eyed it suspiciously as Emma answered the nurse._

 _"_ _Um… he's 15, so not so little actually." Emma let out a nervous laugh as she gripped Killian's hand tightly, silently asking him for assistance. As he looked up he could see that the nurse was trying to work out just how young Emma would have been when she had Henry. Before she had a chance to make the situation uncomfortable, Killian spoke for the first time since entering the room._

 _"_ _I'm new to all of this though." Killian smiled down at Emma who looked up at him, a silent 'thank you' in her eyes._

 _"_ _Oh well then, I'd say we should show you what all the fuss is about." The nurse laughed lightly, seemingly thankful as well for the change of focus. She proceeded to rub a wand over Emma's stomach, an action that made Killian's eyes widen as the nurse added a little pressure._

 _"_ _It's okay." Emma whispered as she brought his hand up to her lips. Kilian smiled adoringly at her as a fast rhythm filled the room. For a second Killian was sure that he was hearing his own heartbeat, before he saw Emma's eyes well up with tears as she turned her head towards the machine. Killian followed her gaze and his breath caught in his throat. On the screen in front of him were moving images and, even though he couldn't make sense of them, he knew that somewhere in there was his child. And that the sound that he was hearing was their heartbeat. He and Emma had created a life. A life which he already loved more than he thought was possible._

 _"_ _What about you, Dad?" asked the nurse, and Killian realised that both women were looking at him. He didn't know how long he had stared at the machine for, but he had obviously missed something. He looked at Emma with a huge smile on his face and the look in her eyes told him what he needed to know._

 _"_ _It's… bloody amazing." Killian said softly, still in awe of what he had just witnessed. He seemed to be on some kind of time delay, as only then did he register the term which he had been referred to with. 'Dad'. He let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding in as the reality hit him. He hadn't thought about how this child would see him as a dad. As a protector in this harsh world, and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to protect them every second that he had breath in his body._

 _"_ _You okay?" Emma noticed that he was deep in thought and wanted to make sure he wasn't worrying again._

 _"_ _Aye, love." Killian spoke softly as he lent down to kiss Emma's forehead, to which she hummed happily in response. He then placed a hand on her flat stomach stroking it with the gentlest of touches. "And this one will be as well. As long as I live I promise to take care of you both."_

Killian got up and quickly left the Maternity Ward, not looking at any of the expectant parents as they no longer brought him any comfort. His words reverberated through his thoughts over and over again. _As long as I live I promise to take care of you both._ He had promised to keep them safe and now he was helpless to do so. What kind of Dad would he be if he couldn't even take care of them both now? He suddenly needed to get out of there. Out of the Maternity Ward. Out of the hospital. To put as much distance between him and those happy couples as possible. He practically ran through the white corridors, trying to get his mind around the confusing maze of signs and automatic doors.

He finally made it out of the front of the hospital and the fresh air hit him slam in the chest. It didn't feel how he expected it to. It wasn't the refreshing break he'd been hoping for. And he knew why. Emma. She was still in there. She was unable to just get up and leave. To run away as he was. He slumped down on the steps to the hospital and buried his head in his hands. He wouldn't leave her. Damn it he couldn't leave her. Not like everyone else did. He started to shake as his resolve broke and the tears fell from his eyes. He yelled out in frustration, in pain, in helplessness. _As long as I live I promise to take care of you both._ He wanted to keep his promise more than anything. More than his own life. He just didn't know how.

"I'm sorry Emma. I've failed you, love." Killian whispered in despair into his hands. He stiffened as he heard someone behind him call his name.


	3. Chapter 3

Henry had been sat in the hospital's main waiting room whilst Regina was talking to the front desk about Emma. He wasn't sure what had happened, just that his mum had been taken away from the sheriff's station in an ambulance. He closed his eyes so tightly that they began to ache and wished that his mum was ok. She had to be.

He was brought back into the room as the front doors of the hospital swung open, letting in an ear-splitting cry from outside. Henry was immediately on his feet, rushing out to help whoever was in so much pain. Many possible origins of the sound raced through his mind, but it was worse than he could have ever imagined. Crumpled on the steps was none other than Killian Jones.

"Killian?" Henry asked nervously in a voice so small that he could hardly hear it himself. When he got no reaction from the pirate, he took a deep breath in and started down the steps towards the broken man. "Killian!"

Killian lifted his head at the sound of his name. It was Henry. Emma's son. But he was more than that. Over the past few years since Baelfire's – Neal's – passing, Killian had started to see the boy as a son and he hoped that Henry felt the same way. He knew that he was one of only two people who could bring him back to his senses in that moment; the other being Emma.

He stared straight ahead as Henry sat down next to him. They sat there in silence, but Killian could feel through Henry's constant intense stare that he was burning to say something. He managed to turn his head and raise an eyebrow in the kid's direction, giving him permission to speak. Truly he'd had enough of being left with only his thoughts for company.

"Killian, I'm not a kid anymore you know. You can tell me. I know something bad's happened again, I want to, no I need to know what it is." Henry tried to speak with strong conviction, but Killian could hear the fear underlying his voice. It was nearly exactly the same words that he had spoken to Killian and Emma 5 months previously.

 _Killian sat opposite Emma drinking his hot chocolate which he had discovered, like everything else, was made better with a splash of rum. He watched Emma over the rim of his mug as she nervously drummed her fingers on the table, turning round every time the diner's door swung open. Her hot chocolate, with cinnamon of course, had remained undrunk causing the whipped cream to sink into the drink._

 _Killian slid his hipflask across the table towards her, causing her to look up from the table with a look he knew all too well._

 _"_ _Really? Rum really is your solution to everything isn't it?" Emma took a swig from the flask, slid it back to Killian and re-commenced her finger-drumming._

 _"_ _It doesn't hurt." He replied as he poured a bit more into his drink, before concealing the object in his jacket pocket. Emma smirked at this and Killian took the opportunity to take her hand in his, as he doubted that her nervous tick was actually doing either of them any good. "It'll be fine love." He spoke softly as he caught her eye-contact. Emma smiled slightly and took his hook in her other hand. However their moment of peaceful bliss was interrupted as the door to Granny's opened, and Emma whipped her head round to see Henry standing in the doorway. Her son. Who was in fact the reason why they found themselves in the diner, and she in her current state._

 _"_ _Hey mom!" Henry shouted when he spotted them in a booth at the back. He walked over and gave his mum a hug before scooting in beside Killian, who had moved over so that Henry could be directly opposite Emma. "Killian." He smiled at the pirate next to him._

 _"_ _Henry." Killian ruffled his hair lovingly causing the boy to push him away laughing._

 _"_ _I'm not a kid anymore you know. A handshake, or even a manly hug, works out just fine." Henry jokingly scolded the pirate while trying to keep a straight face._

 _"_ _Understood." Killian flashed Emma a mischievous grin which let her, and Henry, know that he didn't intend to head the boy's wishes._

 _Henry realised that Emma had said anything since he'd entered and when his eyes fell on her un-touched hot chocolate, he knew that something was off. "Mom is everything ok?"_

 _Emma looked up at Henry's worried expression and took in a deep breath. "Well kid… you see… um…" She looked up at Killian for help, but found that the previously outgoing pirate had shrunk down his seat and was taking a great interest in his empty mug._

 _Henry's eyes flitted between them both. "I know something bad's happened again." He looked down at his hands now, remembering all the terrible things that his family had been through._

 _"_ _No Henry. It's nothing like that, I promise. It's just –" Emma grabbed Henry's hands in her hers and tried to get him to look up at her._

 _"_ _Mom, it's okay. You can tell me. I just want to know what it is. I need to know so I can-"_

 _"_ _Listen to your mother, lad." Killian's contribution got Henry to look sideways at the man sitting next to him. For some reason he trusted Killian to be straight with him, maybe it was because he didn't have his mother's tact for these sort of discussions. Seeing that he was making progress Killian raised an eyebrow at Emma and with a small nod of approval in response, he continued. "Everyone's alright I promise. And there's no bloody demon or disgruntled witch who's trapped us all in town. We all still have our memories intact, or so I recall." He saw Emma give him a look out of the corner of her eye, probably as his reference could be taken as a dig at her history of memory removal. "Actually, love, just to be sure should we search the town for anyone in possession of a suspicious amount of dreamcatchers?" This earned him a hard kick in the shin, but Henry let out a small laugh which had been his intention so he didn't feel too guilty._

 _"_ _Yes thank you Killian. Tell me does that hook of yours still have the power to remove hearts, or did you have to enlist Regina's help in relieving you of yours?" Emma spoke with a sickly sweet tone letting Killian know that, even though this was all fun and games, he was going to pay for it later._

 _Killian grabbed his chest dramatically. "You wound me, Swan." He was actually pleased with himself. Even though he was sure he was going to be in trouble with his comments, Emma had returned to her confident unapologetic self. Henry laughed as he continued his theatrics by slumping down in his seat in mock agony. Even Emma couldn't help but giggle at the lengths her pirate would go to for laughs, especially from her or her son._

 _"_ _Okay, okay I believe you." Henry said rolling his eyes as Killian sat up with a goofy smile plastered across his face. He turned to look at his mum. "So why are we here? Apart from the questionable entertainment." He tilted his head in the pirate's direction, an action which only made Killian's smile grow._

 _"_ _Well the reason we wanted to talk to you is… um… the thing is…" As Emma stared in her son's eyes her nerves from earlier returned in full force. She saw Killian tilt his head in her directions and she took in another deep breath. It was now or never. "I'm… we're... me and Killian are going to have a baby." She stared at her son's face intently waiting for the first sign of his reaction to the news. Killian did the same._

 _"_ _You're… you two are having a kid?" Henry breathed out, not giving any clue to whether he saw this as good thing or not. "Mom… you're having another kid?"_

 _"_ _Yeh Henry." Emma felt as if she had been right to worry. She really didn't want Henry to feel like he was been replaced, especially as she planned to not miss a second of this baby's life. "You're going to be a big brother." At those words Henry let go of his mum's hands and his mouth dropped open._

 _"_ _I guess I am, aren't I?" Henry's eyes lit up as he turned to look at Killian, who was still tentatively dangling the mug from his hook. Killian looked up and saw that the boy's eyes had filled with wonder._

 _"_ _Yeh lad, you are." Killian placed his hand on the back of Henry's neck, something which his brother Liam had done to him whenever he'd had something on his mind. He felt Henry tense under his grip and suddenly worried that it was the wrong decision. As he went to pull away, Henry turned round and hug Killian tighter than he had ever done before. Killian's heart melted as he looked up in surprise at Emma, who allowed a tear to escape down her cheek. Killian enveloped Henry into the hug as he let out a long sigh of relief._

 _"_ _Thank you, Killian." Henry pulled away from Killian and put out his hand for him to shake. Killian smiled at the formality of the gesture after the touching hug they had shared, but he shook it all the same. "Thanks for making my mom happy." Then Henry noticed the tears that were spilling from his mother's eyes. "You are happy right?"_

 _"_ _Yes I am Henry." Emma leaned over and gave Henry an awkward hug across the table. She smiled at Killian whose goofy smile had returned even bigger than before. "Very happy." Emma pulled away slightly to take Henry by the shoulders and stare into his eyes. "Are you okay with this?"_

 _Henry pretended to ponder his answer for a moment, before allowing a devilish grin to spread across his face. "Are you kidding? I'm going to be a big brother!" He exclaimed, a little too loudly for Emma's liking._

 _"_ _Not so loud kid. We don't want the whole of Storybrooke knowing before I've told your grandparents." Emma shushed Henry as she pulled him into another hug._

 _"_ _Wait." Henry sat back so that he could look at both of them at once. "You haven't told them yet? Am I the first one to know?"_

 _"_ _Of course you are lad. Your mother and I decided that we wanted you to be the first to know. You are going to be a very important part of this baby's life you know?" Killian laughed lightly at Henry as he practically jumped out of his seat at the news that he was the only person who knew. Henry took Killian's hand in his and his mother's in the other._

 _"_ _I can't wait till they get here."_

Killian stared into Henry's eyes which still contained a glint of promise. He couldn't lie to him, but he didn't think that he could destroy that last shred of hope that the lad had. He let out a sigh and rubbed his fingers along his forehead, with absolutely no idea of what to do or say.

"Is Mom going to be okay?" Henry stared at the pirate intently searching for the first sign of answer. "What about the baby? Is the baby alright? Killian please just tell me!" Henry let out the last part louder than he intended to, but it seemed to do the trick as Killian's head snapped up to look at him.

"I… I don't know lad. I honestly don't know." Killian let his head fall into his hand again. He'd told the truth. The honest truth. The answer that took care of all of Henry's questions. Suddenly he felt a hand fall on his neck in a firm sign of affection. And for a moment his heart healed slightly. He felt that much needed release, however fleeting. What he'd been searching for since he'd left the Charming's in the relative's room. Probably since he'd gotten the call about Emma.

"They will be. They've got to be. Have faith." Henry wasn't sure if he was saying these words to Killian or to himself, but it didn't matter as they both needed the comfort that they brought. The similarities between Henry's words and David's did not go unnoticed by Killian; blind optimism obviously runs in the family. In his family. They were his family too, or would be, because of Emma.


	4. Chapter 4

Killian walked with Henry back into the hospital and started towards the relative's room where he had left Snow and David. His steps were sluggish as he made his way back to where he should be, where he probably should have stayed all along. Henry was a bit further ahead of him as he was anxious to see his grandparents and get news on his mother; Killian knew that he wasn't able to tell Henry any of the information that he was desperate to hear. Henry disappeared into the relative's room and Killian heard the displeased tone of the boy's other mother.

"Henry, where the hell have you been?" Even though Regina had left her evil-queen days far behind her she still had the ability to strike fear into most people, most of all her son. "I told you to wait in reception while I spoke to the nurse and you –"

Killian took a deep breath and entered the room. He kept his head down but could feel everyone's eyes on him as he sat down in a chair at the back of the room. Regina stopped mid-rant when the pirate entered and pulled Henry into a tight hug, she immediately knew where her son had been. Everyone took their seats in silence. The air was thick with thoughts not voiced and questions unanswered. Killian started to sense the feeling of suffocation rising up in him again, and he knew that he wasn't the only one being overcome by it. David's breathing was getting heavier by the second, and Regina's hand was starting to turn red with how tight Henry was gripping it. Killian looked up and made eye contact with Snow across the room. She was leaning on her husband for comfort, and Killian got the feeling that she hadn't broke her gaze on him since he'd entered. Snow gave him a weak smile which he returned with a slight nod of his head, before turning towards the window on his right. Killian fixed his eyes on the scene taking place outside. Granny was having a go at Leroy about something; the dwarf had probably made a nuisance of himself while under the influence of a fair amount of alcohol. These two argued about such things so often that Killian normally didn't notice it anymore. But that was the exact reason why today he had noticed it. Because things were happening as they always did. And he couldn't understand it. The world was still going on even though his whole world was currently connected up to numerous machines going through god knows what. His world was ready to crumble and the wolf woman was worried about a few broken glasses or an unpaid bar tab. Killian could feel his anger from earlier boiling up in him and stood up with such force that his chair clattered over. The sudden loud noise made Snow yelp out and Regina ready with a fireball materialising in her hand.

"Hook!" David yelled as he looked up at the cause of the sound in shock. Once he saw the pirate's expression, he got up and walked over so they were face to face. David lay his hand on Killian's shoulder, who flinched under the touch.

"Killian, what is it?" Snow spoke from behind her husband.

"Nothing." Killian moved away from David's grip and started for the door.

"Just talk to us" Snow's worry was evident through the wavering of her voice. Killian ignored her and reached out for the door handle.

"Please. Don't go." Killian froze at the quiet pleading coming from behind him. He looked over his shoulder at Henry, who had remained seated throughout this exchange.

"Why? What good am I doing sat here?" Killian said through gritted teeth. He actually wanted the boy to answer him, to give him a reason to stay. He wanted to believe that he was doing all that he could for Emma, but he just couldn't see how that was possible. He saw in Henry's eyes that he was desperately trying to come up with something to say. Something real, that wasn't just told to all relatives to make them feel better. However, before he could say anything the door slammed into Killian with some force. He growled and looked through the glass to see Whale on the other side trying, and failing, to hide an unapologetic smirk. Killian glared as he walked over to where he was previously, picking up the chair before sitting down.

"Beware of lurking pirate's, ay?" Whale joked as he entered the room. When the only reaction he received was an eye-roll from both Regina and David, he cleared his throat. "Yes, anyway. Sorry about that."

"Just get on with it, Whale." Regina spat out, wishing that she had cursed someone else as the doctor instead of Dr Frankenstein.

"Yes your highness." Whale spat back before his whole demeanour became much more solemn. "I think we should all sit down." Whale sat down, followed closely by Snow. David and Regina shared a sceptical glance before they too, begrudgingly, did the same. "As I said earlier, Emma has gone into premature labour." Killian leaned forward in his chair and stared at the doctor with the same intensity that he had subjected his hook to earlier. "Now sometimes these births, even those that are a month early like Emma's, can go through without a hitch and both mother and baby can be just fine. With this world's modern technology, occasions such as this are luckily more and more likely. However as Emma has remained unconscious since arriving at the hospital there is a bigger risk to her and the baby."

"Then why don't you bloody well do something." Killian spoke with a slow threatening tone to show the doctor his frustration.

"For once I'm with the pirate. Surely there is something that you can do. Or are you really as useless as everyone thinks." Regina's voice held the same frustration as Killian's.

"Regina, I'm sure Whale and his team are doing all that they can." Snow attempted to defuse the situation, as she was desperate for any news she could get on her daughter. She looked back to Whale with a small smile, "Continue."

"Thank you. And for your information we are doing something. I have decided, with your consent of course, that an emergency caesarean will give Emma and the baby their best chance. So if you could –"

"What the bloody hell does that mean?"

"A caesarean is the delivery of a baby through a surgical incision in the mother's abdomen and uterus. It's a common procedure where we cut into –"

Snow let out a gasp at the news and brought her hand to her mouth while David hugged her shoulders. Killian stood up seemingly dumbfounded at the doctor's suggestion.

"You're planning to cut into Emma's stomach! With my baby in there. You must be a mad man if you think we'll actually let you do this."

Snow reached out and took Killian's hand in hers, he could feel her shaking as she held onto him. He looked down at the woman and saw the tears staining her cheeks. "If the doctors say that this is the best thing for Emma, for your child, then we have to let them do it." Killian closed his eyes at her words. "We have to trust them." Killian let out a slow breath as Snow squeezed his hand affectionately, the way Emma did if he ever needed reassurance.

"Aye, then." Killian breathed out as he turned his head towards Whale, keeping hold of Snow's hand. "But if anything happens to them while in your care, I will make you pay. Because I'll have nothing left to lose, and you should never underestimate what a man is willing to do when he has nothing left to lose."

"Well then, with that I'm going to go prep Emma for surgery." Whale got up and walked towards the door. "You can come and see her before we take her in. I'll come get you when she's ready." Whale exited the room, leaving the information hanging in the air. Everyone seemed unsure of how to digest what was about to happen. Killian let go of Snow's hand and sat back down in his seat. He should've felt better than this. He had expected to. He'd wanted them to do something, to take some sort of action and now they were.

"Did you really mean that?" Snow whispered as she stared at Killian, with fresh tears falling down her face. Killian raised his head slowly to look at the woman, who looked as broken as he felt. He wasn't sure to what Snow was referring, so he raised an eyebrow as they made eye contact. "That you wouldn't have anything. Anything left to lose. If anything happened… if they were to…" Her voice was laced with such sadness that Killian felt a huge pang of guilt strike his already fragile heart. He didn't know how to respond. He had started to see them as family but that's because of Emma. If Emma wasn't there he doubted they'd see him as more than a dirty pirate who took their daughter away from them. He didn't want to admit it, but that thought broke his heart. Losing his chance at having a proper family, however crazy a thought it was. He wanted to spend time with them, go round to theirs for special occasions as they had started to do last Christmas.

 _Killian found the whole concept of Christmas really quite confusing. However he joined in with the festivities as it was what Henry wanted. He secretly knew that it was also what Emma wanted although she'd never admit it, not even when he'd caught her dancing around the kitchen to a Christmas CD one morning. Anyway he'd helped Henry pick out the biggest tree Leroy had to offer, and had proceeded to decorate it with Emma whilst Henry was staying at Regina's. That had to be the weirdest tradition that surrounded this season. Emma had then had to explain to him how, on Christmas Eve night, Santa supposedly left presents underneath the tree for all the children who had been good that year. She insisted that he was just a character made up for the kids, which he had countered with the fact that she was the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. Emma just laughed it off whenever he brought it up, promising him that she was 95% sure that it was the parents who got the presents. This didn't stop her from insisting that Henry went to bed at 10 so that he was well asleep by midnight, just for old times' sake she said. Emma and Killian, coincidently, went to bed at 11:30 on Christmas Eve; he let out a low chuckle when she adorably pretended not to have noticed the time._

 _Killian awoke to someone shaking his arm quite violently. "Henry." He groaned groggily as he rubbed his eyes and saw that it was only 7:15. He heard a light tinkering giggle and immediately rolled over to see Emma knelt next to him on the bed. "Bloody hell, Emma. Do you know what time it is?" He moaned as he pulled the covers over his head. Killian felt_

 _Emma get off of the bed and he relaxed thinking that he'd won. However his moment of bliss was short lived, as the entire duvet was pulled onto the floor. He sat up and shivered, glaring at Emma._

 _"_ _Oh come on, it's Christmas!" Emma shrugged her shoulders and walked out of their room. Killian grumbled as he put on a baggy hoodie and followed the direction Emma had gone, too tired to care that he was still wearing his pyjama bottoms despite telling Emma that he would not wear Christmas 'jim-jams' no matter if it was another tradition. He made his way downstairs to find Emma and Henry already sat on the floor next to the tree, with wrapped presents ready in their laps._

 _"_ _Killian! Merry Christmas! Come join us!" Henry yelled from the living room. Killian observed that both him and Emma were practically bouncing with excitement._

 _"_ _I need a coffee." Killian shook his head and trudged into the kitchen to make himself the hot beverage._

 _"_ _Alright Scrooge." Emma laughed as she got up and went to hug Killian from behind as he put on the kettle. She kissed the back of his neck and he responded by bringing her hand up to his lips. "Just to let you know my parents are coming a little earlier than planned." Killian hummed for her to continue. "Like any minute now." Emma said quickly as she let go of Killian and ran over to open her first present with Henry, not before slapping Killian's behind for good measure._

 _"_ _Swan." Killian sighed exasperatedly. Although he had grown close with his almost-in-laws, he wasn't that up for facing David in his pyjamas._

 _They managed to get about two thirds through the presents before the rest of the Charming's turned up. After hugging Snow and dealing with a few jibes from David about his current attire, they all sat back down in the living room and opened the rest of the presents. Killian had gone slightly overboard with his gifts for Emma, Emma had gone pretty overboard with her presents for Henry, and Snow had gone very overboard with her presents for everyone. After all the gifts were unwrapped and many 'thank you's were exchanged, Killian made his way upstairs with Emma to get changed for Christmas Dinner. He had a quick shower and on his way out he caught Emma looking in the mirror, smoothing down the material of her dress over the protruding stomach. She was grimacing at her reflection, which made no sense to Killian as she was the most beautiful woman that he had ever laid eyes on. Emma caught him staring at her when she shifted to get a different perspective on her figure._

 _"_ _What?" Emma made eye contact with his reflection and shook her head at the silly grin spread across his face._

 _"_ _Nothing love." Killian crossed the room to stand behind her and wrap his arms around her waist. He moved her hair over to one side pressing kisses along the back of her neck and shoulders. "It's just…you cut quite the figure in that dress." Emma hummed as his breath warmed her skin._

 _"_ _Maybe I did, I think you mean." Emma released herself from Killian's grasp and continued to play with the material around her stomach. "I think I'll change into something else."_

 _"_ _Don't you dare." Killian spoke gruffly as he dropped to his knees and kissed her stomach. "You've never looked so beautiful."_

 _"_ _Killian." Emma rolled her eyes as she attempted to push him away, to no avail. "Killian stop it. I mean it." She tried to sound stern, but couldn't help a giggle escaping from her lips as he talked against her stomach._

 _"_ _You're mom doesn't think she looks good in her current state, but I think she looks absolutely breath taking. So, you've got the deciding vote. What d'you say?" Killian lent an ear against her stomach and pretended to be listening, nodding along making noises of agreement. He then left one final kiss on her stomach before standing up and caressing her cheek. "The kid agrees with me. Says that you're stunning and they can't wait to see you properly." Emma laughed lightly at her pirate's efforts. "Just think, love, next Christmas this little one will be here with us." Killian lent forward to kiss her cheek and she turned into it, capturing his lips with hers instead. It was a slow loving kiss that had them both humming with pleasure as her arms wrapped around his neck, while his tightened around her waist. They froze when they heard someone loudly clearing their throat. Killian broke the kiss and turned his head to see Snow standing in the doorway._

 _"_ _Dinner's ready" Snow had a huge smile on her face._

 _"_ _Have you been there this whole time?" Emma let go of Killian and walked over to slip on her black boots._

 _"_ _I didn't want to interrupt." Snow couldn't wipe the grin off her face. She loved seeing her daughter so happy and open to let someone into her heart._

 _"_ _Snow, next time interrupt." Killian also held a stupid grin on his face as he finished buttoning up his navy shirt, leaving a few buttons undone for good measure._

 _"_ _Emma could you help your father lay the table please? I need to have a chat with Killian." Snow walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, smiling sweetly at her daughter. Emma and Killian shared a look at Snow's request._

 _"_ _Yeh… sure, Mom. Just promise to be gentle." Emma let out a nervous laugh as she walked out of the room, leaving her boyfriend to the mercy of her mother._

 _"_ _Come sit next to me, Killian." Snow patted the space next to her. Killian tentatively obliged, scratching the back of his neck in his nervous tic._

 _"_ _So, what can I do you for?" Killian tried to use his pirate swagger to hide the nerves he was feeling. He felt like Snow saw right through this._

 _"_ _Emma told me that this is your first Christmas. I mean proper Christmas, with all of the presents and traditions. How are you finding it?"_

 _"_ _Err… It's good yeh. I can see what all the fuss is about." Killian was confused at why Snow would need them to be alone to ask him this._

 _"_ _It's lovely for us all to be together as a family. Emma hasn't had much of that in her life. She hasn't experienced any lasting love in her past and that pains me more than I can express." Snow was now looking down at her lap, as she was getting more emotional than she had anticipated._

 _"_ _Aye, I know." Killian could see where this was going now. He took Snow's hand is his own. "I don't plan on leaving her, you know that right? I would do anything for that woman and our unborn child. I can't see a future without her in it." Killian felt a tear fall onto his hand and he gave Snow's a squeeze. She looked up at him with a smile._

 _"_ _I know that Killian. And she does too. I didn't come here to question your commitment to Emma, I know how strongly you love her and how far you'd go to save her. I just wanted to thank you for all the happiness that you have brought my daughter." Killian felt a lump in his throat and he coughed sharply to try to clear it. "I also know that you haven't had much in the way of family either. I mean since your brother passed away." Killian flinched at the mention of Liam and it was now Snow's turn to give his hand a comforting squeeze. "I…we, me and David, need you to know that we see you as part of our family now. I realise that we had a rough start but you have shown us that you have truly changed. And that you will protect Emma no matter what. That's all either of us wanted. You have a family with us Killian, if you want it" Killian didn't know what to say. He had started seeing the Charming's as his own family for a while now, but he never thought that they would feel the same way. Him. Captain Hook. He had a family now._

 _"_ _Aye. And I with you." Killian spoke softly as he let the revelation sink in. They both sat in silence for a while, until the smell of food wafted into the room along with Henry calling them down to dinner._

 _"_ _Right I think that's our cue." Snow laughed lightly as she pushed herself off of the bed and headed for the door. "Are you coming, Captain?" She spoke in a sing-song voice as she walked downstairs._

 _"_ _Of course, mi'lady." Killian closed his eyes and let out a deep breath before he followed Snow down to where the rest of the Charming's were sat waiting for him. He couldn't prevent a smile from stretching the width of his face when he saw them all look at him with warm loving expressions. His family._

Killian could sense that everyone was listening for his answer, even if the other three weren't looking directly at him. He didn't want to hurt anyone but he was too tired to say anything but the truth. He was about to say that yes he did mean it, that he knew that they wouldn't be there for him if Emma wasn't.

"Do you not care about the rest of us? About your whole family?" Henry's agitated voice again stopped Killian in his tracks. He was asking a different question. He was asking Killian if he would leave before anyone showed any signs of not wanting him there. Asking if he would fight for those he supposedly cared about. That question was easy for Killian to answer.

"Of course I do lad. I care for you a great deal." Killian didn't look at Henry as he spoke. He kept his eyes locked on Snow's. So that she knew that it wasn't just Emma and Henry who had found a space in his heart. And with that he'd made a silence promise to them and to himself. That he wouldn't leave. No matter what happened he wouldn't leave them. And that scared him senseless. Especially as he didn't think it was a promise that would be easy to keep. After he lost Milah he became a ruthless man only focused on revenge. The only reason that he could come back from that was because of Emma. He didn't know what losing her would do to him. He hoped that he never had to find out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Please accept my up-most apologies for the lateness of this chapter. I've started back at my job to work through the summer and have taken on a lot of hours, so I can't write as much as I would like to. Therefore I'm going to try to post once a week, instead of two, as I think this something I can actually succeed at. Anyways hope this chapter is worth the wait. Thanks for reading guys!**

Killian wasn't sure how much time passed before Dr Whale returned. His internal clock was usually very accurate; it had had to be during his years at sea. However he didn't trust it now, not since he had arrived at the hospital, as time seemed to have slowed to almost a complete standstill. He knew that it had been a while though. Regina had left, saying that the town shouldn't be without its mayor along with both of its sheriffs, so David had started playing cards with Henry. After each game, without fail, Henry turned to Killian to ask him if he wanted to join in. Killian always shook his head in reply, knowing that he wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything until he saw Emma. Snow was still sat opposite him, drawing with half a blue pencil on some scraps of paper that she'd found in the room. Killian couldn't see what she was drawing, honestly he didn't think he cared, but she kept tutting to herself or letting a soft short laugh escape her lips.

When Dr Whale appeared everyone turned away from their various activities, but they all remained seated. Killian took from this that the others felt as tentative as he did, as all they seemed to receive from these meetings was a constant stream of bad news.

"Emma's ready to be taken through to surgery now." Whale knew now to ignore any pleasantries and just jump straight to his point. "You can go and see her now if you wish." At this they all stood up, eager to see the woman who meant so much to them. "Oh…I think it would be best if only one of you saw her…for now at least."

This new bombshell made Killian slump back down into his chair, defeated and frustrated. He needed to see her, but he knew the others felt the same as well. And they were blood relations of Emma. He wasn't even technically family. However that was his kid in there. None of them had a closer bond with that child than he did. And he did plan on putting a ring on Emma's finger at some point; the events of today had only fuelled his desire to have her as his wife. Then he'd be as closely linked to her as he could possibly make himself. He'd be the husband. For now he was just the boyfriend. The father of her child. Her true love. She went to hell for him and he'd be damned if he let a formality stop him from going to her now. _A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, gets what he deserves._ And that's exactly what he was going to do. He was going to see Emma, no matter what anyone said. Killian stood up with that purpose and turned to face the others. "I'm going to see her. It should be me and I don't – " Killian kept strong eye contact with David as he spoke, showing that he wasn't going to back down. It was the prince who interrupted him.

"Of course it's you." David returned Killian's stare with one as unyielding, but he gave the pirate a small smile. Killian was taken slightly aback and opened his mouth to argue his case, closing it again once he realised that David was on his side.

"She would have wanted it to be you. Give our daughter our love." Snow rested a hand on Killian's arm, giving it a gentle squeeze for reassurance before going to her husband. Killian was stunned by their response, but he knew that he still needed to ask the most important person. Henry had sat back down so Killian crouched in front of him. He wasn't sure what to say to him.

"Henry…" Killian trailed off, still unsure of how to phrase his request. However he knew that Emma wouldn't want Henry to see her like she was, especially not alone. Before he had time to form his question, Henry enveloped him into a tight hug which Killian immediately reciprocated.

"Mom wouldn't want me to go." Henry let go of Killian, leaning back so that he could make eye contact. Killian had never seen Henry so serious; he looked more like a man in that moment than he ever had. "Make sure they're taking care of her. That they're doing their best."

"I will. I promise." Killian realised that, for a man who didn't really like to promise anything, he had made an awful lot of promises that day alone. He gave Snow and David a nod as he passed them, following Whale out of the room. The journey to Emma's room was in complete silence, though Killian's quickening heartbeat filled his ears. The blinds in Emma's room were drawn for her privacy, so Killian only knew that they'd made it when Whale turned towards the door. Killian held his breath as Whale took the handle in his hand. However, instead of opening the door, the doctor tuned his head towards Killian.

"Now are you sure about this?" Whale almost sounded sympathetic for Killian, and for once he didn't feel frustration towards the doctor. Killian let out the breath that he had been holding and nodded slowly. Whale returned his nod and opened the door to Emma's room. "A nurse will come and get you when the theatre's ready. You've got 2 minutes." Killian stepped into the room and his eyes immediately fell on Emma. His Emma. His breath caught in his throat and he felt a single tear fall down his face. He walked towards her and let out a hoarse cry at the sight before him. She looked so vulnerable, connected up to numerous machines and a tube was coming out of the mouth. He sat down on the chair next to her bed and grabbed her right hand in his. He was shaking as he lifted it up to his lips and kissed the back of her hand.

"I'm so sorry Emma. I really am love." His voice wavered as he used his hook to brush a stray piece of hair behind her ear. He entwined his fingers with hers and lowered their hands to rest on her swollen stomach. "I've failed both of you. I'll never forgive myself for this. You need to get through this though, both of you do. We're all waiting for you to wake up. Henry. Your parents. We all need you. So you need to wake up. Please Emma just wake up. I don't know what I'll do if you don't." Killian stared at Emma's face, willing her eyes to open, willing for this all to be a bad dream. He rested his head on their entwined hands and closed his eyes tightly.

"Um…excuse me…sir?" The voice forced Killian to open his eyes and look towards its origin, keeping Emma's hand tightly in his. His eyes fell on a small nurse standing just inside the room, fiddling with the material of her uniform. When she didn't continue he raised an eyebrow at her expectantly, while a sigh left his lips. The nurse cleared her throat before trying again. "Well…the thing is…I'm supposed to take her through…to Victor…I mean, Whale…um the doctor?" Killian looked away from the bumbling fool of a woman towards his strong princess lying in front of him.

"Come back to me, love." Killian whispered as he leant over and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. Then, standing with great effort, he gave her hand one last loving squeeze before laying it by her side. He then walked towards the timid nurse, who was staring at his hook with wide eyes. "You better look after her in there. If anything happens to either of them, I…" He has returned to his gruff Captain Hook voice, a fact which he hadn't even registered until he saw the look of fear flash over the woman's face. He paused to compose himself. He couldn't let this happen. He couldn't revert back to the man he was. Whatever happened to Emma and their baby. However he was starting to worry that, if the worst was to happen, he wouldn't have a choice in what he became. But he did have a choice now. "I don't know what I would do." He said softly, truthfully. The nurse's expression changed to one of sympathy and understanding.

"Don't worry sir. We'll do our very best." She smiled at Killian as he passed her and into the corridor. He was walking back the way he had come, or what he assumed was the way he had come, when he heard a voice from behind him. Whale. Killian groaned as heard the doctor's fast footsteps approaching. After seeing Emma, he needed a moment alone to himself and would have resented being disturbed by those that he liked, let alone Whale. Still Killian begrudgingly slowed to a standstill to let him catch up.

"What now?" Killian growled out half to himself and half to the man who now stood beside him.

"There's something I have to ask you. I didn't want to in front of the others…but…well you see…" Whale noticed the anger rising in the pirate's eyes, deciding to drop the act and tell him bluntly. "Things could go wrong with any procedure, as I've said this does carry certain risks. I just…If it did come down to, say, saving one life at the expense of the other. Who would you want us to save?" Whale paused to wait for the response, but Killian's face was contorted into an express of shock and grief. "I can't imagine how hard this is." Whale stepped backwards with his hands raised, keeping a wary eye on the unpredictable man in front of him. Killian felt like all of the air had been knocked out of his body. He just stared at Whale with disbelief at what was being asked of him. He couldn't speak. He couldn't move. How could he possibly choose between his true love and their child? It was impossible.

"Maybe think about what Emma would want us to do?" At those words Killian lost all control of his legs as he fell against the wall and down to the floor. Emma. How would she cope with waking up when their child didn't? How would the child cope if she wasn't there? How would he cope if either of them were lost to him? Killian closed his eyes and lent his head back against the wall, trying to stop the world from spinning and his thoughts from thumping. The problem was he knew the answer to Whale's second question. He knew what Emma would want. He just didn't know if he was strong enough to carry out her wishes.

 _"_ _Emma! What the bloody hell was that?" Killian stormed into the Sherriff's station, after seeing Emma disappear into the building, which was looking a bit worse for wear. At the sound of his voice Emma ran to embrace the man she loved, grounding to a halt when he turned away from her._

 _"_ _Killian." She said softly reaching out to take his arm, a gesture which he again recoiled from. "Hey I'm alright. We defeated them. We won."_

 _"_ _Barely." Killian still had his back to Emma as he lent forward and grabbed the desk in front of him._

 _"_ _No-one's hurt. Everybody's ok. Apart from maybe a few buildings and the occasional road sign." Emma tried to lighten the mood, but her comments only made Killian grasp the surface tighter._

 _"_ _Everybody that we can see." He muttered just loud enough for her to hear._

 _"_ _What is that –" Emma came up short when she realised to what he was referring. Her hand fell to her bump and she started rubbing it tenderly. "Oh Killian, the baby's fine I promise."_

 _"_ _How could you possibly know that?" Killian raised his voice as he turned back round sharply, causing Emma to jump backwards._

 _"_ _Cause I do ok?" Emma matched the volume of Killian's voice without really thinking. She took a deep breath and tried to see things from his perspective. She knew how worried he got about her, and now that she was carrying his baby, well he had a right to be scared. Her voice softened as she closed the gap between them. "I can feel them in there. I know they're doing just fine. But, if it will put your mind at ease, once I'm done here we'll go see Whale." She reached out and took his hand in hers, threading her fingers through his._

 _"_ _Ok, love." Killian stared into her eyes and he leaned forward against her, brushing his lips against her cheek. "So you know they're alright now. Just tell me something, Emma. How did you know they would be alright…when you went charging up against that monster?" Now it was Emma's turn to pull away, as she turned her back on him while trying to search for the right answer._

 _"_ _I just…I hoped…we're the heroes…" Emma fumbled as she attempted to string a logical reason together that Killian would accept. "I don't know I just –"_

 _"_ _That's right Emma. You didn't know. You just ran in there giving no thought to our unborn child –" Killian raised his voice again and he saw Emma visibly tense at his words._

 _"_ _That's not true. The whole town was in danger and they needed me. My parents, my friends, Henry –" Emma tried to keep herself under control, not allowing her voice to rise to his volume. She hated how irrational her pirate could be at times like this. They argued after almost every battle, even though she had to admit that she was the same whenever he threw himself into life-threatening situations._

 _"_ _And where was Henry when this was going on? The lad is a teenager now and you still make sure that your mother has him, well away from any dangerous beast. But our defenceless child was right there in the middle of it. I wonder if that means something" Killian stopped abruptly, regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth. He didn't mean anything that he had just insinuated, not for one second. His anger now turned towards himself as he attempted to backtrack. Stepping forward he went to place an arm on Emma's shoulder, and then thought better of it, speaking much quieter than before. "Emma, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that –"_

 _"_ _Then why would you say it Killian!" Emma hated that she was an angry crier as she turned around to face him. Her previous control was long gone, replaced by a fury that out-did Killian's by a long shot. The lights in the station started to flicker and she could feel the sharp tingle of magic fizzling up in her fingers. "There must be some truth behind it. I can't believe that you think I would ever choose between my children, that I would put Henry, or anyone else for that matter, before our child. What kind of person would that make me?"_

 _Killian stared at Emma with wide eyes, still searching for a way to make this better. He then realised that little sparks where coming from her hands. "Emma, love, please calm down. I'm really sorry, honestly I didn't mean a word of it." He reached out and gingerly took her hand in his, ignoring the electric shock of magic that he received in reply. Emma flinched, but didn't pull away from his touch, as she felt herself slowly being soothed by Killian. "Emma, I love you and our child more than anything." He tried to look into her eyes as he spoke, but the moment their eyes made contact she bowed her head._

 _"_ _I know." Emma whispered breathily, gathering her thoughts on the day's events._

 _"_ _That's why I can't cope with seeing you in danger. When Regina got knocked unconscious by that protection spell, all I could think about was what would have happened if you had been the one to try first. If it had been you flying backwards through the air. What could have gone wrong…" Killian tightened his grasp on Emma's hand as he trailed off, too caught up with emotion to continue. Emma finally looked up into his eyes, bringing her other hand up to cup his cheek._

 _"_ _But I didn't go first." Emma softly ran her thumb over the scar on his cheek as she spoke. "That's why I held back. I waited for Regina to arrive before testing the door." Killian's eyes grew wide at her words. He'd been ready to interject that that was just luck, Regina getting there first, as that's what he had thought._

 _"_ _You did? But I thought –" Killian tenderly used his hook to place a loose strand of golden hair behind Emma's ear. If he had just spoken to her about his fears rationally, they could have avoided the un-pleasantries that they had just experienced._

 _"_ _I would only put myself, and our child, into a dangerous situation if it was the last option. Once Regina was injured I knew I had to step up, but it still wasn't an easy decision to make. Everyone was relying on me and I couldn't let them down. I'm the Saviour therefore I had to save them, save you and our future. That's what I was constantly thinking about, the future that we were going to have, that we are going to have and I –" Emma was taken aback, only momentarily, as Killian stopped her ramblings by crushing his lips into hers. Then she gave as good as she got, mirroring his passion with her own and adding some more for good measure. This was the part that made it all worthwhile, all of the constant battles; both fighting monsters and arguing with her true love. Because after it all she knew that she had a dashing pirate who loved her as much as she loved him, it still shocked her that that was possible. They only pulled away when they needed to breathe, resting their foreheads together as they both tried to regain themselves._

 _"_ _Now that's better." Killian sighed breathlessly as he straightened up so that he could see her eyes, his arms coming around her waist. "I am truly sorry, love, what I said it –" Emma brought her finger up to his lips._

 _"_ _It's over." Emma's soft gaze caused Killian's heart to melt. This woman, who he still didn't think that he deserved, loved him for all of his faults. He kissed her finger then, taking it in his hand, trailing kisses along each finger and her palm. Emma giggled in response, licking her lips as she got butterflies in her stomach. "Anyway our child is going to be a survivor just like their father."_

 _"_ _And they'll be able to handle anything just like their mother." Killian smiled lovingly as he brought their hands done to touch her stomach. Emma's eyes fell to where their hands were joined, resting on their future._

 _"_ _But that doesn't mean I'm not going to protect them until my last breath." Although Emma spoke quietly, her determination was evident in her voice. Killian made note never to doubt her again, even for a mille-second, even when his judgement was clouded by anger and worry._

 _"_ _Aye me and you both, lass."_

Killian opened his eyes just in time to see Whale turning round the corner at the opposite end of the corridor. "Whale!" Killian shouted after the doctor, feeling no surprise when he didn't receive an answer. He got up hastily and started to run towards the end of the corridor. As he turned round the corner, he saw Whale pushing through two doors; the sign above stated that this room was the 'Operating Theatre'. "Whale!" This time the man in question heard Killian's call and turned to face him.

"Well…What is it?" Whale knew full well why he had been stopped and what Killian was about to say.

"The baby. Save the baby." Killian stated, and the doctor merely nodded his head in reply before disappearing into the operating theatre. Killian stared after him knowing that, behind those heavy doors, was his Emma and his baby. His baby that would soon enter this world.


	6. Chapter 6

**So that plan of one a week went well then! Sorry guys for my unreliableness but I have barely any time to sit and write at the moment, as I'm working every hour that gets offered to me. Therefore I shall make no update promises as I obviously can't stick to them. There will obviously be more chapters, but sadly I can't say when, so hopefully it'll be a nice surprise whenever they're posted. Again apologies, as it is bad form on my part. Hope this chapter was worth the wait however, and thanks for continuing to follow this story. Love to you all**

Killian paced up and down outside the operating theatre, wanting to be as close to Emma as possible. He hated not knowing what was going on behind those closed doors. He was tired of seeing Emma in pain and being helpless to do anything about it. The last time he felt like this was when Emma became the Dark One, but this time was worse; at least back then he knew that Emma was alive. And he hadn't had a child in danger either. A loud voice crackled over the tannoy, causing him to halt abruptly.

"Dr Watson to the Operating Theatre. Code 3. That's Dr Watson to the Operating Theatre."

Killian's breath caught in his throat. He had no idea who Dr Watson was and what a Code 3 meant, but he knew one thing. Dr Whale clearly needed this bloke to help him with Emma's surgery, that he couldn't handle the situation at present. That meant there must have been complications. Something had gone wrong. It must have. Killian's mind went to places, dark places, places that up until now he hadn't been allowing himself to go. He stood completely rigid, clenching his fist so tightly that he thought that his fingernails would break the skin of his palm. He started to feel emptier, hollower, as the little hope that he had left faded away. He was jolted back to reality, quite literally, when a man rounded the corner and collided straight into him. The impact sent Killian stumbling backwards, as the other man took the brunt of it and ended up on the floor.

"Oi! Watch where you're going, mate!" Killian shouted, his emotions higher than usual for obvious reasons. He stared angrily down at the man, who he now noticed was wearing a lab coat. The man held his hand out to Killian, silently asking to be helped up, a gesture which the pirate ignored.

"Sorry, but I am in a state of some urgency." The doctor stood up, dusted himself off and righted the stethoscope hanging around his neck.

"Still should be more bloody careful." Killian spoke gruffly under his breath.

"I'm sure I will be in future. Now if you would excuse me." The doctor turned swiftly and pushed open the double doors to the operating theatre. To where Emma was having surgery. Suddenly the penny dropped. That clumsy oaf was the fore-mentioned Dr Watson. Who now had her life in his hands, as well as his child's. No way was he going to allow that, not for one second. He strode towards the doors, hell bent on getting that man away from his family.

"Killian!" He stopped at the sound of his name, his hand hovering in front of him ready to push the door open. "Killian what the hell are you doing?" David placed a firm hand on his shoulder, turning him around so that they were face to face.

"Making sure that incompetent idiot doesn't endanger Emma or our child." Killian spoke gruffly, attempting to pull away from David. However he wasn't quick enough and a second hand grasped his other shoulder, trapping him where he stood. "Let go of me, mate. Or do you want your daughter to be treated by someone who is clearly not up to the task?"

"I don't know who that doctor is. Or what he did for you to lose faith in him. However I do know that you're not going to help matters by storming in shouting your mouth off." David kept strong eye contact with the man in front of him. Killian opened his mouth to argue his point but David carried on speaking. "I also know how much you care for Emma and that you do want what's best for her. And right now that is to leave her with the people who can help in ways we can't. As much as I hate to say it, I do trust Whale's medical opinion and therefore I trust that this doctor is going to help Emma's condition." Silence filled the corridor as the two men stood with their eyes locked together. Finally Killian let out a shaky breath and nodded his head. The prince's eyes soften then and his hands moved to clasp Killian into a tight hug.

Suddenly the doors behind Killian were flung open, the two men breaking out of the comforting hug. He turned just in time to see a team of nurses and doctors quickly wheeling a small cart round the corner. Dr Watson walked out a moment later, stopping short when his eyes fell on a confused Killian. He gulped slightly before looking past the pirate to David, who stood with a similar air of bewilderment.

"Ah prince. Well Sherriff now isn't it?" The doctor stepped to the side to present his hand to David, who stared at it for a moment before snapping out of his daze and shaking the hand.

"David is just fine." He offered the man a smile which didn't quite meet his eyes, as they were flooded with worry for his daughter and grandchild. "Am I correct in thinking that you are Dr Watson?"

"Right you are." The doctor smiled lightly, gesturing to his name badge which was still skewwhiff. He hesitantly turned to face Killian, not bothering to offer his hand again. "Killian Jones, I presume?" Killian merely gave a short nod in reply, his eyes flickering between the room in front of him and the direction in which the cart had disappeared. "Well then I do apologise again for our previous encounter, Mr Jones. I hope now…"

"Why don't you skip the small talk that you lot seem to be obsessed with and just tell us what's happening, mate?" Killian gritted his teeth as he finally turned to look at the doctor.

"Killian…" David tried to scold the pirate, but his voice fell flat as he to needed to know about Emma's condition.

"No it's a fair point." Doctor Watson shot Killian a small smile before composing himself into his medical persona. "The caesarean section was successful in removing the baby from Emma's womb. She has been taken to a NICU unit where she will be kept in an incubator." The doctor paused to let the words sink in. David raised his hand over his mouth and looked to Killian, who was stood completely still. David placed his other hand on the back of Killian's neck to remind him that he wasn't alone. The firm gesture seemed to bring Killian's body up to speed with events and he had to grab David's shoulder as his legs buckled under him.

"I…um…it's…" Killian's voice was barely above a whisper and he cleared his throat before trying again. "You said she. The baby is a girl?"

"Yes it is." Doctor Watson allowed himself to smile wide at this. "Congratulations, you have a daughter."

"Is she going to be ok?" David questioned softly, before realising that he hadn't made it clear as to which 'she' he was asking about. If he was honest he didn't know himself.

"The baby is going to be kept on a ventilator, and will be monitored for some time before we know for sure if anything is not as it should be." Watson seemed to notice the look of despair on Killian's face and he stepped closer to him. "When she was born she wasn't breathing, which was why I was called for assistance. However after a few rounds of chest compressions she took a small breath. Although she is not strong enough to breathe entirely on her own at this point, it is an encouraging sign that her lungs are working. As I said, only time will tell now what happens." The men stood in silence once more, trying to process this onslaught on information.

"Emma…" Killian breathed out her name like a prayer. "What about Emma? You haven't said anything about Emma!" The doctor's eyes glazed over as he took a deep breath in, and Killian's heart grounded to a halt.

"Um yes Emma." The doctor coughed slightly before, seemingly forcing himself, returning to his medical persona. "There were certain complications during the surgery. Emma's heart crashed three times during the procedure, but the team managed to stabilize her each time. She was put under anaesthetic beforehand, to be sure that she wouldn't wake while the surgery was in progress. Therefore we need to wait a couple of hours for the effects to wear off. Then we'll know whether she is still unconscious because of this trauma, and we can treat her accordingly." Killian felt like the world was spinning faster and faster by the second. He didn't know how to process the fact that the love of his life could have died. Or that his daughter could have died. Or that they both still could. He didn't hear what David was asking of the doctor, or the answers that were given. He didn't notice when Doctor Watson left to tend to another patient. He did notice when the doors in front of him swung open and Emma was wheeled past him. He stared after her as his vision was clouded by tears.

"Emma." Killian croaked out after her, unable to make his legs go after her. He turned to David, who had his phone to his ear.

"No signal at all." David sighed as he put his phone back into his pocket. "Snow took Henry to get something to eat in the cafeteria. I'm going to go get them, if that's ok?" Killian nodded in response, fearing that if he opened his mouth he would either scream or cry. "Ok then. You go see Emma and once we've found you, we'll go find out if they'll let us see the baby." He was speaking in a formal tone that was usually reserved for his royal subjects, but this was David's way of gaining control of the situation. Killian barely registered the instructions that were given to him, as the prince turned and walked the opposite way to where Emma was taken.

Killian didn't know how long he stood in the corridor for before his legs finally started moving in the direction of Emma's room. He staggered along the corridors with great difficulty, as his world continued to spin faster and faster. By the time he made to Emma's room he could hardly breathe and felt like he would faint or throw up at any second. What if the anaesthetic wore off and Emma still didn't wake up? What if she never did? He couldn't look after their daughter without her. What if Emma woke up but their daughter didn't survive? What if he lost them both? He could feel the bile rising up his throat and knew that he had to get out of there. Had to get some air. Some space to breathe and think. Before he had properly registered what was happening, his body made the way through the maze once again and he emerged through a side door into the hospital car park. Killian gripped the wall as he emptied his stomach onto the gravel. Wheezing heavily, he fell back against the side of the hospital and ran his hand over his face; covering it in a wet mixture of sweat and tears.

 _"_ _I'm starving. My dad decided to leave me at the station all morning while he ran some errands. I could eat a mountain of grilled cheese right now." Emma moaned to Killian as they walked hand in hand to Granny's._

 _"_ _Well then, my love, a mountain of grilled cheese you shall have." Killian squeezed her hand lightly before letting go to open the door to the diner. Emma smiled warmly up at him as she walked through the door that he was holding for her._

 _"_ _Always the gentleman." She leaned up and pecked him on the lips as he joined her inside. They were so encompassed in their blissful bubble that they didn't notice how packed the diner was. Or that David was sat at a table at the far end of the room, with a line of people before him. They managed to make it to the counter with the only break in eye contact being Killian's eyes falling to her stomach. Emma's breath hitched, as it always did, when she saw the amount of love which he viewed their unborn child with. They were partially taken from their daze by Ruby on the other side of the bar._

 _"_ _Oh look, it's the infamous couple themselves." Ruby eyes twinkled with something wicked as she winked at Emma. "Finally decided to grace us with your presence then. Was the alone time just too good?" Emma shot Ruby a look as she went to speak, but the brunette held up her hand. "Actually I can imagine it's better than good, so you can spare me the details. Well at least while your father is in ear shot anyway." At that Ruby gestured her head towards David and they followed her gaze, taking note of the unusual situation._

 _"_ _Ruby, what's going on?" Emma asked as she looked at her father, who seemed to be taking secret ballots from the people in front of him. Ruby merely shrugged as she went to serve another customer, but neither on them missed the way her eyes still held that mischievous glint. Emma shot a confused look at Killian, whose face mirrored her expression, before heading towards her father. She pushed in front of Tinkerbell, who was at the front of the queue, a little more forcibly than she meant to. Killian gave the fairy an apologetic smile as Emma started on her father. "Dad what are you doing?" Emma's confusion quickly manifested to frustration as her father looked up at her with a gleeful grin. She knew he was up to something and she'd be damned if she wasn't going to get to the bottom of it. "Can you just tell me already?"_

 _"_ _Oh just a bit of town business, Emma." Her father reached round her and took a piece of paper from Tinkerbell, which he proceeded to post into the town's ballot box. "Don't worry, I can handle it."_

 _"_ _Handle what exactly? You're not answering the question!" Emma blamed her raised voice on pregnancy hormones and the fact that she hadn't eaten for hours._

 _"_ _Mate, I wouldn't advise angering Emma at any point. But it's an even worse plan when she is pregnant and hungry." Killian attempted to rest his hand on Emma's shoulder, but she immediately shrugged him off; a sure fire sign that their happy glow from earlier had been ruined. "On that point, I shall go and place our order with Ruby." He pressed a quick peck to Emma's cheek, which she either didn't notice or chose to ignore, and walked back to the counter._

 _"_ _You heard what he said, now are you going to listen to him or not?" Emma let out an exasperated sigh as David reached again to take a piece of paper, this time from Granny herself. However before he could drop it into the box, Emma snatched it from his hand._

 _"_ _Emma! It's meant to be a secret ballot." Her father attempted to take the paper back, but Emma turned away from him to read it. After a few seconds of taking in the information she faced her father, who now held a slightly sheepish expression. "Well Emma, I –"_

 _"_ _I don't get it." Emma interrupted him as she stared at the words written in front of her. Some of the words stood out as they were typed:_ _ **Girl**_ _and_ _ **Boy**_ _,_ _ **Name:**_ _,_ _ **Date:**_ _,_ _ **Weight:**_ _. Then other words were written in Granny's recognisable tiny handwriting. Suddenly the penny dropped, and Emma lifted her head to see that her father was trying to conceal a laugh. "Seriously? You've asked everyone to do this…" Emma was trying to keep some level of frustration in her voice, as she still wasn't pleased at being kept out of the loop, but her resolve was dwindling. With each second that passed, the idea that she had people who would want to do something for her unborn child warmed her heart. She turned her head to see Killian beside her with bags filled with grilled cheese sandwiches and onion rings. As she took the bag that he was holding out to her, with a cautious look on his face, she felt tears start to well up in her eyes. Damn hormones. Emma managed to stop any of them from falling, but she could tell that both Killian and her father had noticed. Emma took a bite of grilled cheese as she reached over and took two of the papers yet to be filled in. "Well if everyone else if doing it, then I suppose the parents should to." She smiled sweetly as she handed the paper to Killian and got out a pen from her pocket. They had both decided early on that they didn't want to the find out the baby's gender before the birth, as they felt it was like unwrapping a present before Christmas. Therefore they had a few names floating around for either outcome, but none of them were set in stone._

 _"_ _Hey pirate! No peaking." David swatted at Killian's arm as he caught the pirate attempting to glance at Emma's answers. "No-one's allowed to see these until the baby's here, ok?"_

 _"_ _Apologies, Sherriff." Killian chuckled as Emma shot him a mock angry look. Once they were done, the slips of paper were folded up and put into the box. They then said goodbye to David and left the diner to return to the station._

 _"_ _You father sure is resourceful, love." Killian laughed as he placed Emma's food on her desk. "I must say, I'm surprised you're taking this so well."_

 _"_ _I guess I've learned to live with it. I know they do this stuff because they care, and I don't know I think it's kind of sweet." Emma took a bite of an onion ring as Killian raised an eyebrow at her remark. "It's this pregnancy. It's making me soft. In a couple of months I'll be back to my old self."_

 _"_ _I'm quite enjoying this open you, Swan, it's much less work." He laughed as Emma threw the rest of the onion ring at him. "Only joking, love, you know I love every part of you." Killian leaned across the desk and kissed Emma on the lips. It wasn't one of their most hungry kisses, but it still left them both a little breathless as they pulled away. "Come on then, what did you put?"_

 _"_ _Huh?" Emma blushed slightly as she realised that she'd gotten so lost in his eyes that she hadn't heard what he'd said. Killian laughed gently and took her hand is his._

 _"_ _On the ballot. What were your answers?" Emma smiled at him as she released his hand to grab another onion ring._

 _"_ _Wouldn't you like to know." She winked at him mischievously and turned to face her computer. "Now I need to get back to work. No cheating, ok?"_

 _"_ _Alright lass. I promise to be good." Killian gave her a final quick kiss before picking up the rest of his food and heading to the docks._

Killian raised his head and his eyes fell on David's truck, parked somewhat haphazardly over two parking spaces. They had been in such a rush to get to Emma that Killian hadn't even waited for David to stop the car before he'd jumped out. Now he staggered weakly across the car park towards the vehicle, hoping that what he wanted was still in the back of the truck. He reached over the edge and started rifling through the various items before his eyes fell on the black box. He lifted it up and carried it with him back into the hospital, feeling as though he now had some purpose to fulfil. When he walked into Emma's room, Snow stood up with a relived gasp and Henry ran towards him.

"Killian! Have you seen her? My baby sister. Is she ok? What does she…" Henry was rambling as he always did when he was nervous, or excited, or feeling any extreme emotion really. He stopped short when his eyes fell on the box cradled in Killian's arms.

"Is that… Oh Killian I…" Snow held her hand up to her mouth as silent tears trailed down her cheeks. Killian ignored them both and went over to the table, placing the box next to a vase of oddly smelling flowers. He took his hook and broke the lock off in one swift movement, which made Snow and Henry both jump. "David's looking for you…um Henry could you go and tell your grandad that Killian's here. I think he went up to…" Snow eyed Killian wearingly as she trailed off, not wanting to spook or upset him more than he was.

"I know, grandma." Henry nodded as he left the room, giving Snow a hug on his way out. Killian took the lid off of the box and tipped its contents onto the table, throwing the now empty vessel to the floor.

"Killian, why do you have that? What are you looking for? I know you're hurting but this –" Snow slowly approached Killian who was looking through the hundreds of pieces of paper, scrunching up and discarding them when they weren't what he wanted.

"I need to know what she put. I need to know what Emma wanted." Killian chanted almost to himself as he knelt down to look at the pieces that had fallen off of the table. Snow knelt beside him and lay her hand over his hook, steadying him for a moment.

"Do you mind if I help?" Snow asked gently picking up a piece of paper in front of her. Killian meant her eyes and nodded, grateful for the feeling that he wasn't as alone as he had previously thought. That's how David and Henry found them, sprawled on the floor surrounded by a mess of papers. Neither on them felt the need to ask what they were doing as they joined them on the floor. David found Henry's piece of paper and they all stopped momentarily to listen to what the author had written.

"Boy." David laughed lightly at as Snow ruffled Henry's hair. Killian just stared ahead, thinking of how it seemed like a lifetime ago when David had orchestrated these predictions. "Liam." Killian's breath caught in his throat and he pulled Henry into tight hug, as tears once again threatened to spill from his eyes.

"It is the obvious choice." Henry choked out as he pulled back from the embrace, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Aye, lad. Thank you." Killian somehow managed a half smile, which seemed like a miracle even though it didn't reach his eyes. The four of them then when back to the job at hand, only stopping once more as Snow let out a gasp. "What is it? Is that Emma's?" Snow nodded through her tears and handed the piece of paper to Killian, who took it in his shaking hand. "She…Emma…chose the same name as me." Snow stuttered out as David moved to wrap his arms around his wife. Killian took a deep breath before handing the piece of paper over to Henry, as he didn't trust himself to be able to read or speak right now.

"Girl." Henry breathed out and Killian's heart began to feel something that he couldn't place. This is what he had wanted. He had wished that Emma had put that it was a girl. Henry laughed slightly as he lifted his head to look at his mum lying on her bed, before continuing. "Hope." Killian's breath hitched as he heard the name. Hope. That was what he was starting to feel again. A little glimmer of hope had lit up in his heart. David chuckled as he wiped the tears from his wife's cheeks, before doing the same to himself. Their daughter, who had been so closed off and cynical when they found her, was now in love and believing in hope.

"Hope." Killian whispered, as if testing it out, before repeating the name louder with more assurance. "Hope. It's perfect." He got up off the floor, shaking slightly on his legs and walked over to Emma. He took her hand in his and raised it to his lips, placing a gently kiss on the back. "Thank you, love. For giving me Hope."


	7. Chapter 7

As Killian stood waiting for what seemed like an obscenely long time for the elevator, he chastised himself for not sticking to his first plan of taking the stairs. David and Snow had both argued that there was no use exhausting himself any more than he already was, and ironically he had felt too tired to argue that he was fine. Just as he began to turn towards the stairs, a high pitched ding rang out alerting the group to the elevator's arrival. The heavy metal doors opened, and he suddenly wished that the contraption had taken even longer to arrive; as he didn't feel ready for what was coming. David must have noticed his hesitancy as he squeezed his arm when he walked past, shooting him a small smile when their eyes met. Killian tried his best to return the smile as he stepped into the elevator, turning round just in time to see the doors sealing shut. It now felt like there wasn't nearly enough space for three people, Killian gripping the bar that ran across the far wall in an attempt to prevent himself from hyperventilating. No one spoke during the ride up to the 4th floor, heavy breathing making the air thicker by the second. As they heard the familiar ding of announcement sound from within, Killian noticed Snow letting out a quiet sigh of relief; letting him know that he wasn't alone in his anxiety. They exited as soon as the doors opened wide enough and looked around for signs of where they should be heading.

"Excuse me…?" Snow called for a nurse as she walked past the group. She turned around and offered them a small smile, which Snow returned. "We're looking for the… the… um… where…" David reached forward and squeezed his wife's hand to calm her as she fumbled. Snow looked up at David with her eyes glistening with fresh tears, so he nodded at her before turning his attention towards the nurse.

"We were wondering if you could take us to our daughter's… daughter." David couldn't help smiling at those words. His daughter had a daughter. Emma had a daughter and would experience the wonders that he knew that brought. He had to believe that she would get the chance to do so.

"Emma Swan's your daughter, right?" The nurse asked with a smile and David nodded in affirmation. "Of course. If you would like to follow me." The nurse then gestured down the corridor and proceeded to lead the group. Killian hadn't missed how her smile had faltered after hearing that they were here for Emma, and his heart dropped. Did she know something? Had something gone wrong with Emma while they were gone? He had been hesitant to leave Emma in the first place, but Henry had promised to let them know if anything changed. He checked his phone, finding that he had no signal and began to panic. He had to get back to Emma. To watch over her. But he had to do this first.

"She's just through here." Killian only just heard the nurse's words, looking up to find that they were in front of double wooden doors. Through the window he could see that the small room was painted yellow with drawings all over the walls. There were three windows opposite them that looked out towards the harbour, and a camp bed up against one wall. At the other side of the room was a bunch of monitors and machines, which were attached to a kind of glass crib. Killian's breath hitched as he realised that was where his daughter was. She lay in that impersonal crib, connected to god knows what. And worse of all, she was alone. Killian had vowed never to leave a child as his dad left him, but he had left his daughter alone for the first hour of her life. For that he could never forgive himself.

"Do you want us to come in with you?" Snow laid her hand on Killian's arm, squeezing gently to get him to look at her. He found so much care in her eyes that he almost took her up on her offer.

"Um… I appreciate the gesture. I really do. But…" Killian shook his head and smiled warmly at the couple. "I think I need to meet her on my own. Just at first." Killian added to let Snow know that she will be seeing her granddaughter soon.

"We understand." David put his hand on Snow's shoulder, coaxing her back to him. "We'll be right here." David caught Killian's gaze, reassuring him that he could do this. Killian took a deep breath and, on the exhale, stepped into the room.

He was surprised by how quiet it was, as his experience of hospitals had been of them being quite noisy places. He closed the door gently in an attempt to not wake the baby, even though he knew that she probably wouldn't wake if a marching band walked through right now. He picked up one of the chairs and silently placed it next to the crib, constantly looking at the floor as he sat down. He ran a shaking hand over his hook and then forced himself to lift his head up. His eyes fell on his daughter and it felt as if the world stopped spinning. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. He reached out and placed a hand on the glass case, trying to get as close to her as possible. He wanted her to feel his presence, to know that she wasn't alone and never would be. She looked so tiny, with numerous tubes leading from her to different machines, but so perfect. He felt tears run down his cheeks and for the first time since they arrived in the hospital, he wasn't crying out of sadness. He was overwhelmed by feelings of love and amazement, so much so that his body didn't know how to express it.

"Hello Hope." He spoke so softly as he stroked his hand over the case. "I'm your dad." He laughed slightly at that, the fact that he actually was a father now not quite sinking in. "I love you so much. I am going to protect you and make sure that nothing ever harms you. I promise that you will never be alone, I will always be here." He felt a wave of sadness wash over him as he realised that he couldn't say the same for Emma. That her future was still so uncertain. "I know that your mommy loves you and she is fighting so hard to get to meet you. And you know what, Hope, I believe that she's going to succeed very soon. Cause I've yet to see her fail. She's beautiful, strong, kind, funny, and magical. Most of all she's got the biggest heart I've ever known and I know that she's made a special place in there just for you." Killian ran a hand over his face, wishing that Emma was here to share this moment with him. Pushing that thought back he once again laid his eyes on his daughter. "You've got so many people who care about you and you've only just come into being. Henry is going to be the best brother you could ask for. And your grandparents are going to fuss over you and spoil you-" As if on cue, Killian hears a faint knock on the window. He turns to see Snow looking at him in silent question and David shaking his head behind her. He laughs softly and nods towards the door. Turning back to his child, he too shakes his head. "See what I mean?" He winks down at her. "Trust me Hope, you're going to have more family than you know what to do with." With that he watches David and Snow enter, gushing over the baby as he expected. It makes him happy to see how much love they have for his child. That, even if Emma wasn't there, he and Hope wouldn't be alone. As that's something that he doesn't think he could handle.

 _"_ _Emma?" Killian calls out as he shuts the door behind him. Kicking off his shoes and shrugging out of his jacket he looks around for any sign of her. "Emma?" He calls her name again, slightly louder this time, the silent response troubling him. He wanders into the kitchen trying to think about where she could be. He knows that she was planning to have lunch with her mother after Henry went to Regina's, but it's now six o'clock so she should have got back hours ago. He heads upstairs, suddenly realising that she could be asleep, and tip toes towards their bedroom. He frowns when he finds it empty, positively untouched since he left for work that morning. He gets out his phone and presses the Emma button, sighing when he hears it vibrating on her bedside table. "What is the point of me carrying this ridiculous thing around if you're still never there when I use it?" Killian grumbles as he ends the call. Walking into the hallway in search of ideas, his ears pick up a faint sound. He stops in his tracks and strains to locate the source of the noise. Through the silence he hears a whimper coming from the room at the end of the hall. The nursery. Killian's heart is in his throat as he runs towards the nursery, skidding to a stop at the sight before him. The room is a mess. There are pieces of wood scattered across the floor, numerous tins of paint – one of which is on its side causing blue paint to ooze across the floor – and the tool box looks to have been upturned in the middle of the room. And curled up against the wall is Emma, his very pregnant girlfriend Emma, with her head in her hands. Killian gets over his momentary state of shock and makes his way towards her, careful not to trip over anything in his path. "Emma?" He whispers softly as he lowers himself down next to her. He holds his arms out for her and is relieved when she shifts up close to him, allowing him to wrap her into a hug. "Emma, love? What happened?" At that she buries her head further into his chest and he feels her shake her head against him. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" Killian leans down and kisses the top of head, hoping that it's just hormones to blame for her current state. "Are you hurt? Is it… Bloody hell it's not the baby, is it?" He lifts Emma up so that she is sitting and tilts her chin so that he can see her face. "Please tell me everything's fine with the baby?"_

 _"_ _No" Emma whimpers quietly, keeping her eyes focused on her lap. "It's not fine."_

 _"_ _What?" Killian's throat closes up making his voice a hoarse whisper. "Oh god Emma what's happened? I'm taking you to the hospital right now." Killian places his arms under her armpits and goes to lift her off the floor._

 _"_ _No… it's not… we don't need –" Emma tries to get her words out but just ends up sobbing harder. Killian leans down and is finally able to look into her eyes._

 _"_ _Sweetheart we need to go. Whatever it is, I'm sure the doctors will make our child well again." He tries to use his gaze to implore her to let him help her and their child. His heart is beating faster than he's ever felt it, but he keeps his voice calm in an attempt to soothe her. Emma's eyes widen as she shakes her head, keeping eye contact._

 _"_ _There's… There's nothing wrong with… with the baby." Emma stutters out in between shaky breaths. Killian brow furrows together in confusion at her contradiction. Noticing this Emma takes another a breath. "Not like that." With that she leans forward onto his shoulder and starts to sob._

 _"_ _Then what is it?" Killian reaches his hand up to rub soothing circles into her back, not feeling any more at ease himself._

 _"_ _We… We've got so… so much left… t… t... to do and… and… and no time t… to do it." Emma cries loudly against him and her body starts to shake with the sobs that follow. Killian grips her harder and lets out a hearty laugh in relief, finally certain that his child is fine. At that Emma pulls out of his embrace to lean back against the wall, glaring at him. "It's not funny, Killian." She spits whilst tears continue to run down her cheeks._

 _"_ _I never said it was love." He leans forward to stroke a piece of her hair but she slaps his hand away. Yep, her state is definitely down to hormones._

 _"_ _Do you realise how much there is to do? A baby needs a lot of stuff you know? Not just toys, although so far that's all you seem to have bought for them!" Emma is shouting at him now and he is very aware that she would storm out if she could get up without his help._

 _"_ _Apologies, love." Killian gulps out as she crosses her arms on top of her belly. He can't help think how lovely she looks, even with her face puffy from crying, but he restrains from commenting on it. "I… I didn't mean to anger you. I just thought it was something more..." He trails off, regretting not stopping after his apology._

 _"_ _More what Killian?" She sits up straighter and lifts an eyebrow at him in challenge. When he stays silent she huffs. "No come on, I'd like to hear the end of that sentence. Now." Killian bows his head away from her gaze and into his lap._

 _"_ _I… um... more…" He runs his hand over his hook and cringes. "Serious."_

 _"_ _More serious?! More serious than our child getting everything that they need. Cause I'll tell you something, they aren't going to want for anything. I'll make sure of that, even if…" Her eyes glaze over and Killian's heart aches, as her expression changes from one of anger to hurt. She lets out a little sob before continuing. "Even if I have to do it alone."_

 _"_ _Emma…" Killian takes one of her hands in his and is relieved when she doesn't pull away. "You're not doing this alone, not this time. And believe me when I say that our child will have everything they wish for. Most importantly they'll have a family who loves them and they'll never doubt that for a second, I'll make sure of that." Emma closes her eyes as he lifts his hook to her cheek and catches a tear._

 _"_ _You promise?" Emma keeps her eyes closed and she looks so innocent, so vulnerable. Killian's breath catches as he realises how afraid she is that their child will end up lost like she was. His heart breaks every time he thinks of what she went through, how she felt unwanted and unloved for so long, and all he wants to do is wish her pain away. He has no control over her past but he can bloody well make sure her future is one that she deserves. He leans in and presses a feather light kiss to her lips, smiling as she gasps. He pulls away slightly and cradles her face in his hand as she opens her eyes._

 _"_ _Aye, with all my heart." Emma surges forward at his words, slamming her lips into his as her hands grasp his hair. They both allow themselves to get lost in the kiss, only pulling apart for breath before diving back into the passionate embrace. Emma's hands starts to fumble with Killian's shirt buttons and she pouts when he stops her. "Emma, love…" She bites her lip and looks up at him through her fluttering eyelashes, trying to break his resolve. He laughs, more breathlessly than he attended, and presses a quick kiss to her lips before standing up. Offering his hand to her he smiles. "What say we leave this room and the mess for now, aye?" His tongue darts out to lick his lip and, when Emma subconsciously does the same, he winks. "And I'll go draw us a bath." Emma laughs as he leans down to pick her up off of the floor and he joins in, happy that she can leave her worries behind her for the time being._

 _The next day he and David, with help from Henry, get to work on the nursery while Snow calls Marco to assemble the crib._

"Oh, Killian, she's precious." Snow whispers lovingly as she leans over to look at her granddaughter.

"Aye that she is." Killian continued to stare at his daughter, not able to look away from her sleeping form. He feels David clap him on the back and he smirks, thinking of how far he had come from being the hated pirate always on the outside.

"Congratulations, she's stunning." David's voice comes from behind Killian and he nods a response.

"Thanks, mate." Killian clears his throats. "But she gets her beauty from Emma."

"Well, I can't argue with that." Killian chuckles as David goes to stand next to his wife. He doesn't know long they stay in silence for after that, letting the peacefulness of the new born wash over them all. Killian sees Snow's head start to droop as she tries her best to disguise a yawn. He looks up and catches David's eye, who leans forward in front of his wife. "Snow why don't you go home? Get some rest?" Snow shakes her head lazily as she attempts to stifle yet another yawn.

"No, I'm fine. I promise." Snow protests, turning back to her granddaughter. David rests his hand on her shoulder and smiles sweetly at her.

"You can pick up Neal on the way. I'm sure he's fussing without either of us there with him." David frowns as tears start to pool in Snow's eyes; upsetting his wife was not his intention.

"Emma needs me more right now. I'm not going to leave her like this. She needs her mom." Snow sniffles out, looking at her husband with such fire so that he knows she won't change her mind.

"Maybe you should go then, mate." Killian manages to tear his eyes away from his daughter's toes, they're the prettiest little toes he's ever seen, and look at the couple in front of him. David raises his eyebrows questionably at his suggestion, but doesn't argue it. "You're right. Little Neal will need one of you with him, and who better than his father to look over him. To protect him." On his last words, Killian turns back to his own child who he is charged with protecting.

"Snow would you be ok if I…" David didn't need to finish asking his question when he saw the hopeful look in her eyes. He lent in and kissed her gently on the lips. "I'll take care of him, don't worry."

"And I'll take care of the girls." Snow spoke softly before pressing another kiss to his lips. David smiled as he straightened up and began gathering his things.

"Dave, could you go check on Henry before you go? I think he might need his bed as well." Killian knew that Henry wouldn't want to leave his mother, but it'd been a long tiring day for all of them. Emma wouldn't want her son to put himself at risk because of her, and sleep is important especially for a teenage lad. He also knew that Emma would want him to get his much needed rest, but that wasn't going to happen until he had both of his girls safe in his arms.

"Of course. And if there's any news, anything at all…" Killian didn't miss the worry in David's eyes when he looked up at the prince.

"I'll let you know." Killian nodded his promise to David, who was stood holding the door open. He still noticed a hint of hesitancy when his mate smiled back in response. "Don't worry, I've got them." At that David sucked in a breath and left the room to check on the rest of his family.

"Thank you." Snow whispered once they'd both fallen back into the comfortable silence.

"You're very welcome." Killian smiled softly to himself as Snow laid her hand over his on his daughter's glass case. They stayed like that for some time, both letting tears fill their eyes at the marvellous miracle in front of them. Although Killian knew that the tranquillity couldn't last forever, he was disappointed when it was destroyed by a knock on the door. That feeling left as quickly as it had come when Dr Whale entered the room. "Any news?" Killian asked desperately awaiting some much needed good news.

"Congratulations Killian." Dr Whale gestured to the baby girl. Whereas Killian would usually get annoyed at the doctor's small talk, he couldn't help but smile whenever his daughter was mentioned. Therefore Killian nodded his thanks before raising an eyebrow, asking the doctor to continue. "Yes… well I am pleased to tell you that we've got back the results of your daughters test and she's seems to be doing well. She will of course need to be kept in for observation, but all early signs are positive."

"How long till I can take her home?" Killian cringed at his choice of pronoun, as it should be him and Emma collectively.

"It's hard to say for sure at this point." Whale lifted up his hand as he saw Killian getting ready to object. "However if things keep going as they are then she should be ready to go home within the week." Killian wanted to get Hope home as soon as possible, but he did want to make sure she was well enough to do so. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to his little girl because he wasn't paying attention.

"What about Emma? How is she?" Snow asked quietly from her chair next to her granddaughter. Killian gulped as she asked the question that he was too scared to.

"Ah well most of the anaesthetic should have worn off by now but she… she hasn't woken up." Killian grasped the back of his chair for support for whatever was said next. "However it does take different effects on people so it could still be keeping her under."

"So how are we going to bloody know which on it is?" Killian gripped on the chair tightened, turning his knuckles white. He didn't really understand what was happening with Emma and it angered him. He'd seen the marvels of modern medicine first hand, his daughter lying in front pf him was testament to that, but that didn't mean that he wasn't sceptical.

"Well Dr Watson and I have decided to keep monitoring her over night to see whether she wakes up on her own. If she doesn't then we will look into other options. Namely attempting to wake her up ourselves." Killian turned to the doctor with wide eyes at his suggestion.

"I thought you said that her body may be keeping her unconscious to give her the time she needs to heal." Killian waited for Whale to nod his head before continuing. "So isn't it dangerous to wake her up when she's not ready?" Killian wanted to see her so badly; to stare into her eyes, to hear her voice, to see her smile. But, just like with his daughter, he wants to make sure she's healthy enough for the next step.

"That it could be. However it could also be more dangerous to leave her unconscious for a long period of time. There could be an underlying problem that we can't detect with her in her current state." Killian was so frustrated that his instinct was to throw the chair he was holding across the room. However, for his daughter's sake, he instead released his grip on the chair and turned on Whale.

"I have had enough of all these bloody 'if's and 'maybe's. You are her doctor. You need to find out what is wrong and make her better." He was very close to the doctor now, and he was fighting the urge to pin him up against the wall. "Cause I tell you something. Emma is going to wake up. She is going to meet her daughter. And I am taking them both home. Do I make myself clear?" When he didn't get a reply he grabbed the doctor's collar and snarled into his ear. "Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?"

"Crystal." Whale smiled sarcastically at Killian as he let go of his shirt. "Now if you will excuse me." He brushed himself off before nodding to Snow and exiting the room. Killian breathed heavily as he clenched his fists together. His peaceful air from earlier had been thoroughly destroyed and he felt foolish for thinking that everything was getting better. He needed Emma there with him. To tell him that it was all going to be ok. He would never doubt her plans or speculations, but he was finding it impossible to put the same trust in Whale. With a sigh and a rub of his face, he turned back to sit down with his daughter. At least he felt like he could protect his child, because he sure as hell couldn't protect Emma. And that truth scared him to death.


	8. Chapter 8

Killian couldn't think straight. After his latest conversation with Whale, not even the presence of his perfect baby girl could calm his anguish. His left leg had begun to judder nervously again once Snow had been informed that David had taken Henry home with him. Although he was glad that the boy had been persuaded to get his much needed rest, he knew that that meant that Emma was all alone. He had promised to protect his daughter and never leave her side again, a promise that he intended to keep. However he had made similar promises to Emma and, unlike their daughter, her life was still under threat. He tasted the metallic flavour of blood and realised that he had been subconsciously chewing his lip for god knows how long. He swallowed to rid himself of the tang of his own blood.

As if reading his mind, Snow lifted her eyes from her granddaughter and whispered, "Go to her." Her voice, though quiet and soft, startled Killian and he too lifted his head to meet her gaze.

"Pardon?" His voice matched her tone and volume, as it was instinct around the sleeping child.

"Emma. Go to Emma." Snow smiled softly and her eyes filled with sincerity. Killian opened his mouth to object, but she raised her hand regally to silence him. "She needs you now. I know how important it is for you to protect your daughter and I admire that greatly. However you have done all you can for Hope, and now she needs you to see to it that her mom is looked after to. I know that you need to see Emma for yourself as well."

"I…but…" Killian tripped over his words as he tried to form an objection to a point which he didn't really want to argue. Snow gave him a knowing look and he knew that any attempt at argument was futile, she could see that his heart was longing for Emma. He scratched behind his ear nervously and looked back to his daughter. "Very well. I trust you will watch over Hope for me… for us."

"I will. As I trust you to do the same with my daughter." Snow reached over and gave Killian's hand a reassuring squeeze. "If anything happens I will come find you."

"Likewise." Killian stood and managed to tear his eyes away from his daughter; he was fairly certain that the image of her was seared into his brain. Just to make sure, he turned back around and pulled his phone from his pocket. Leaning over his daughter he took pictures, more than necessary, from every angle of his sleeping princess. Straightening up he saw that Snow was looking at him with slight amusement. "I doubt that my description alone would do her sheer beauty justice." He smiled sheepishly and then turned to leave the room. To go to his Emma. And, as he started towards the stairs, he couldn't get to her fast enough.

Killian stopped when he got to her door, suddenly hit with the weight of what lay before him. There were two ways he would be leaving the room once he entered – with Emma, or without her. Upstairs with his daughter he had been able to block out the outside world, if only for a little while. Now it was standing right in front of him, and he knows that he has to face the future. With one more deep steadying breath, Killian turned the handle and quietly entered Emma's hospital room. His eyes fell on her still form immediately and he had to hold back a sob. He had forgotten just how pale she looked, how vulnerable she was. Keeping his gaze fixed on Emma, he walked towards her and sank down into the nearest chair. Killian reached out to grasp her hand, trying not to dwell on how limp it felt in his. Fighting past the lump in his throat, he brought her hand to his lips so that his breath lightly grazed her skin. "Hi, sweetheart… I… I've just been with our daughter." He laughed softly as tears began to fall down his cheeks. "I need to thank you, love, cause you have given me the most amazing gift… one which I… I will never be able to repay. All I can say is that she is absolutely perfect. And even that does not give her another justice. You'll see what I mean when you meet her. Cause you will…" He leans forward with his elbows on the bed, resting his chin on their joint hands. "You have to, Emma. You have to meet our little Hope. She has all of your beauty and clearly your strength, therefore I know that she will have your kind heart as well." Killian leaves a soft kiss on Emma's hand before he lays it gently on the bed. Getting out his phone he scrolls through the pictures that he took of his daughter. He finds a full body one where the lighting is just right, and he turns the screen to face Emma. "See, love, she's one hell of a pirate princess." He looks at the picture for a few moments before setting it as his lock screen; something Henry had shown him how to do a few months previously. Putting his phone back into his pocket, Killian once again picks up Emma's hand in his own. Stroking her hair with his hook he lets a genuine smile spread across his face. "Oh and your parents are besotted with her. Just like we knew they would be. Henry wants to wait until you see her, but I know he will love his little sister so much. Don't worry your father took him home to get some rest, on a promise that I let him know when there's any news. When you wake up for instance..." He finally lets the sob free, dropping his head onto their hands. "Please, Emma, just wake up. Please…" Killian trails off into silence, listening to the dull hum of Emma's ventilator along with the beeps from various machine. After a while his eyelids start to close and he's lulled into a restless sleep.

 _Killian opens the door to their house and steps inside to find the downstairs area empty. He frowns slightly as he kicks off his shoes and sheds his jacket. He heads towards the kitchen to pour himself a drink, but comes up short when a loud shout comes from the backyard. Turning on his heel he notices that the patio doors are wide open, letting in a cool summer breeze. He decides to take a drink outside with him – a plan that goes out of his head as soon as he hears a little girl's scream. His heart is in his throat as he runs out of the doors with his hook held out in front, searching for the danger. He breathes a shaking sigh of relief as his eyes fall on the cause of the scream. Henry is standing with a wooden sword pointing up at the treehouse, or 'tree-ship', that they had built in the spring._

 _"_ _Too late Princess, you are mine now. There is no escape. You're trapped." Henry snarls dramatically as he starts towards the ladder._

 _"_ _It's never too late!" The determination in the little voice that comes from the structure makes Killian's heart melt._

 _"_ _No-one is coming to save you. No-one knows you're here." Henry lets out a wicked cackle that could have come from his Aunt, the wicked witch, herself._

 _"_ _I don't need anyone! I can save myself." At those words Killian steps forward, not satisfied with being just an audience member any longer._

 _"_ _I don't doubt that's true, Your Highness. But it won't be necessary." Killian puts on his over-the-top gallant prince impression, basically a mockery of David, as he approaches the scene. Henry jumps slightly as he spins to face him, breaking character momentarily, before raising his sword towards Killian._

 _"_ _What do you want, Pirate?" Henry spits out the last word with such venom that Killian can't help but feel a tiny bit offended._

 _"_ _I've come to rescue the princess of course." Killian bends down to pick up a tree branch, as he doesn't think bringing his hook to a pretend-wooden-sword-fight would be seen as good form._

 _"_ _And what business is she of yours?" They've started circling each other now, both weapons held high and pointed across at the other._

 _"_ _I simply can't resist helping a maiden in distress." Killian takes a step towards Henry, attempting to close the gap between them. Alas the boy reads him all too well, stepping back before Killian can take advantage of the position. "Now are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way?" He's barely finished speaking before Henry lunges forward with his sword, causing Killian to raise his 'sword' to catch the blow. "Good, cause I love the hard way." Killian growls as he pushes Henry backwards and brings his sword around to attack, a move that is parried by his opponent. They continue on like this for some time, both of them getting increasingly frustrated as their competitive streaks come out in full force._

 _"_ _Ready to give up, Captain?" Henry pants as he once again foils an advance from Killian._

 _"_ _Never." Killian grits out as lunges towards the boy for what seems like the millionth time. Unfortunately fatigue has made him sloppy, making it easy for Henry to both step out of the way and push him to ground. Killian grunts as he turns over and sees Henry standing above him with his sword pointing at his throat._

 _"_ _How about now?" Henry laughs out, not the evil cackle from before but a genuine laugh at Killian's expense. Killian sees this as his opportunity to gain the advantage, deciding to sweep Henry's legs right from under him. Before he can carry out the move, however, a voice comes from behind his attacker._

 _"_ _Let him go now!" The small strong voice makes Henry freeze and he can't help but grin when he makes eye contact with Killian, who winks up at him from the ground. "Drop the sword and turn around slowly." Henry growls in frustration as he drops the sword, next to Killian's head, before turning around to face his defeater. "You are a bad man and will be locked away forever."_

 _"_ _Nooooo!" Henry shouts as he falls to floor in anguish. It's then that Killian's eyes finally fall on his little girl, who wears a triumphant grin as she runs over to him. He laughs as she joins him on the ground, lying on top of him with her head propped up on his chest._

 _"_ _Well done, princess." Killian smiles warmly as he strokes her hair out of her face with his hook._

 _"_ _See, daddy, I said I could save myself." Hope's eyes gleam with pride and Killian feels his heart swell with that same emotion._

 _"_ _I never doubted you for a second. You also saved me so please accept my thanks." Killian bopps his little girl on the nose with his hook, beaming at the giggle he gets in response. Leaning forward to sit up, he lifts Hope up with him and puts her down on the grass beside him. Hope stares at him for a few seconds before tapping him on his head._

 _"_ _You're it!" She exclaims with delight as she takes off down the garden. Killian chuckles softly as he goes to stand up, accepting Henry's offered hand for assistance._

 _"_ _Henry, do you mind…?" Killian breaths out as he gestures with his head towards the little girl running around the garden._

 _"_ _Ah is the great notorious Captain Hook getting tired in his old age?" Henry smirks, already walking in the direction of his little sister._

 _"_ _Oi careful lad. I may have much life experience, but I have still retained my youthful glow." Killian mockingly scolds Henry as he watches him walk away. "I'm sure your mother would vouch for that." The boy turns round at his last words, as he had expected him to, however the expression on his face is unreadable. An uneasy feeling washes over Killian and he shakes his head to rid himself to it. "Speaking of, where is she? Still at the station?" Killian frowns as Henry's eyes fill with sadness._

 _"_ _Hook… she… mom…" Henry walks slowly towards him, tears welling in his eyes._

 _"_ _Henry what's wrong? What's happened? Where is she?" Killian stepped forward and took the boys shoulders in his hands, shaking him slightly when he doesn't get a reply._

 _"_ _She's… dead." Henry chokes out as tears start down his face. Killian stepped back at his words, not able to process what he has just heard. Emma couldn't be dead. She wasn't dead. This must be some sick twisted joke._

 _"_ _Why the hell would you say that?" His eyes flashed with anger as he once again closed the gap between himself and Henry._

 _"_ _It's true. Don't you remember? She died when Hope was born." Henry whispered the last part, not wanting to upset the little girl who was thankfully unaware of their conversation. "You must remember." He stared at Killian with concern flooding his features._

 _"_ _No. No. It can't be… She can't be…" Killian whispered brokenly, trying to remember the last time he'd seen Emma. He felt tears burn behind his eyes but he refused to allow himself to cry, to mourn the love of his life as he refused to believe that she was gone. A scream ripped through his thoughts and he looked up to see a black figure grabbing his daughter. Killian went to run towards her but found that he couldn't move._

 _"_ _Daddy, help me! Please!" The girl's cry broke Killian's heart as he struggled with all of his might to save his princess. His efforts were in vain and he watched as the darkness began to engulf his daughter. Suddenly he saw Henry run forth to attack the creature, only to get thrown against the tree by another figure of darkness. Killian tried to scream for his children but no sound came out. He continued to will his body to move to protect his family, not prepared to let them be hurt by this new villain. His mouth opened in a silent scream as he watched both of their hearts being ripped from their chests. The pain he felt was unbearable as the dark figures slowly crushed the life out of their bodies. He saw the light go out of their eyes before they dropped to the ground. Killian felt whatever bound him to the spot vanish and he fell to his knees with a heart wrenching scream. He couldn't bring himself to look at his children who had just been taken from this world. He continued to scream as he felt the darkness surround him, and he willed them to take him. He wanted to die. For the pain to stop because he knew that he couldn't survive losing everyone he loved again. The darkness didn't kill him, choosing to let him suffer instead._

 _"_ _You couldn't save them." The darkness mocked him with a vicious tone which made his stomach twist. "They're all gone now. Because of you. What kind of man can't protect his own family?"_

 _"_ _She would've saved them. The saviour never failed like you do."_

 _"_ _Stop please." Killian croaks out, unable to take any more of the cruelty. Even though he's knows they're right._

 _"_ _You promised you'd protect them." The voice that appears in his head now is even worse than the former. This voice hurts him more than he can comprehend. This is Emma's voice. "I trusted you and now they're gone."_

 _"_ _I'm so sorry Emma. I've failed all of you. I'm so sorry."_

The first thing she registers is the pain in her head, mixed with the fogginess of her brain. The feeling of extreme tiredness as well as restlessness confuses Emma to no end. After a while she realises that she hasn't opened her eyes yet, and it worries her how hard it is to do so. When she finally opens them, she closes them immediately against the onslaught of light. Who the hell thinks it's ok to have light that bright? She moans internally as her headache shoots up in protest. Trying to assess her situation with the constant throbbing of her head is near on impossible. Going to raise her hand to her face in frustration, she finds that her arm feels extremely heavy and that movement is not going to happen. Placing her arm back down the couple of inches she managed to get it in the air, she realises that her whole body feels incredibly heavy. And she feels incredibly weak. It might be one or the other, but honestly she doesn't care. _Get a grip, Emma._ She chastises herself mentally. _You're the freaking Saviour, you can do this._ Deciding on a different approach, she tries to remember what last happened to her. What landed her in the state that she's in now. Her memories are all fuzzy like the rest of her brain and it takes her a few moments to sort through the jumble. She remembers being at the Sheriff's station with her dad. But she's done that pretty much every day for years, how does she know that this is even recent? She hasn't worked at the station properly for weeks anyway, because of being pregnant. The thought of her child seems to shock her into action as she feels a searing pain in her stomach. At the same time she's hit with the memory, clear as day, as if she's drunk another memory potion.

 _Emma waddles into the Sheriff's station to find David sitting comfortably in her chair, staring at the computer screen in front of him. "Don't get too comfortable, you're only acting Sheriff." She smirks as her father jumps out of the chair quickly and helps her to sit in it._

 _"_ _Emma. What are you doing here?" David breathes out as he continues to hold onto her hand, until Emma removes it with a pointed look._

 _"_ _Just came to see how things are." Emma looks away sheepishly as David put his hands on his hips. She sighs as she turns back to face her father. "Ok honestly? I'm bored out of my mind." David chuckled as his daughter exhaled in frustration. "I'm stuck in the house all day while everyone else gets to go live their lives."_

 _"_ _You need the rest though Emma." David leans against the desk next to his daughter and tries not to laugh when she rolls her eyes. "You need to get ready for the baby."_

 _"_ _We are ready. Dad everything's been done. There's nothing to now but just wait until I have it." Emma tries to swing on her chair, an action which she quickly discovers cannot be carried out by a heavily pregnant woman._

 _"_ _Well, then. Take this time for yourself. Lord knows you deserve it." David reaches forward to squeeze her shoulder affectionately, trying not to be insulted when she shrugs him off._

 _"_ _You sound just like Killian." Emma huffs as she grabs the side of the desk, using it as leverage to pull herself up off the chair. David's arm immediately reaches out to help her up, which only annoys her hormone clogged brain more. She walks round to the other side of the desk, standing glaring at him with her hands on her hips. "He keeps saying that I need to take it easy. Put my feet up and chill out with some Netflix."_

 _"_ _Don't tell him I said this, but Killian's right. You're growing another human being, it's ok to take time to yourself. Healthy even." David spoke softly as he met Emma's gaze, gulping slightly at the anger he saw there. Having had two children he was well aware of the wrath an annoyed hormonal pregnant woman could bestow. Emma opened her mouth to respond but ended up leaning with her hands on the desk instead. She felt extremely lightheaded all of a sudden and she couldn't get her vision in focus. David rushed over to his daughter and held her as he sat her down in the chair on that side of the desk. "Emma, what is it? Are you ok?" Emma cringed at the concern in her father's voice._

 _"_ _Yeh…I'm…I'm fine. Can I just have some…um…some water?" Emma breathed out as she tried to dissipate the waves of nausea that were overwhelming her. She felt her dad kiss her on the forehead before leaving the room to go grab her some water. Once her vision came back into focus she went to stand up, as walking usually helped her when she was feeling sick. Instead she felt a pain in her stomach which sent her keeling over. Her hand instantly went to protect her child and she ran soothing circles over her belly as the pain grew worse. "Ssh baby its ok. It's going to be ok." She whispered gently under her breath as she felt panic overtake her. Tears started to run down her face as her heart started beating at an alarming rate. "You're going to ok. I promise." Emma felt her eyes start to close and the familiar thrum in her head that came before passing out. She saw a blurry figure run towards her before it all went black._

Emma's breath caught in her throat as she relived what had happened. Her hand went to her stomach and she sobbed when she realised how much flatter it was. Forcing herself to open her eyes, she blinked and squinted against the bright light until she grew more accustomed to its harshness. She confirmed that she was in a hospital room as she took a deep breath and looked down at her belly. Sure enough her bulge had decreased considerably. Tears flowed down her cheeks as reality washed over her. Her baby was gone. She felt an overwhelming emptiness. A pain that was much worse than her physical symptoms took hold of her. Her baby was gone, again. She'd once again had her baby taken away without meeting them properly. But this time was worse than with Henry. This time she didn't even know if her baby was alive. She felt like screaming at the thought that her baby could have been taken from the world. She could feel the tiredness trying to pull her under but she resisted. Against every aching, weak muscle of her body she sat herself up and looked for her baby. Praying that they were in the room. Praying that they were safe. Her eyes fell on Killian and her heart stopped. She wasn't alone this time. He was here as he'd promised that he would be. The moment of relief was fleeting as Emma took in how tired he looked. There was a brokenness to his features even as he slept which stabbed at her heart. She went to say his name but was stopped by the tube in her mouth. Turning she saw that she was connected to a ventilator as well as various other machines registering her. She attempted to lift her arm to nudge Killian awake. She needed him to tell her that everything was ok. That their baby was ok.

Emma stopped herself. What if the baby wasn't ok? He was here with her and not with their child. And he looked so devastated. She wasn't ready for him to tell her that their baby was gone. She couldn't listen to him have to say those words. Have him tell her it wasn't her fault when they both know otherwise. Whatever had happened, whatever the outcome, something had gone wrong. And it was her fault. She was the mom. She had been charged with protecting this precious life for 9 months and she'd failed. 9 sodding months and she couldn't even do that. More tears fell as she leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. She should never be a mom. She can't be one. Her heart shattered as she hoped with everything she had that her baby was ok. The baby that, even if by some miracle is ok, she can't let herself be a mother to. She can't put any child in danger of her failure ever again.


	9. Chapter 9

Emma had no idea how long she lay there for, consumed with worry for her child. The child who could be dead because of her. At some point there were no more tears to fall and she was just left feeling numb. Frozen in this helpless state of unknowing. She heard the door to the room open, but she didn't look up to see who it was. Didn't care. The young nurse picked up her chart and went to look at the various machines. Emma saw her face turn into a frown as the nurse took down the readings. The woman's eyes brightened when she saw that Emma was awake. Emma just continued to stare at the ceiling. The nurse started to talk to her, but she didn't hear anything that was being said. Emma had seen an emotion on the nurse's face that she couldn't place. She had obviously been pleased that she was awake, however there was something else hidden there. No matter how hard she tried to think otherwise, her mind was telling her that it was sadness. Sadness for the mother who had lost her child. She barely registered when the nurse removed the tube from her mouth. She took a few shaky breaths and felt the ache of over exertion in her lungs. After a few more breaths her eyes began to droop closed, the extreme tiredness finally overtaking her.

 _Emma opened her eyes slowly, reluctant to be thrown back into the world of pain and missing children. She quickly realised that the ceiling above her was not the cold white of her hospital room, but a warmer cream pattern swirling before her. Her eyes widened as she felt the fluffy pillows under her head, her hands grasping the soft duvet that covered her. She shot up and looked around the room, a smile filling her cheeks at the fact that it was her room. Her and Killian's room. In their house. She was home. Her brief time in the hospital seemed like a distant nightmare, and she prayed that it was. She turned to find his side of the bed empty, which was a common occurrence seeing as he rose with the sun. Comes with the centuries spent at sea, Emma smiled as she pulled herself out of bed. She stopped when she caught sight of herself in the mirror; her stomach was even flatter than it had been at the hospital. Not letting her mind go to those places, she slipped on her silky dressing gown and walked out of her room. She slowed as she turned at the end of the hall, breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of Killian leaning over their daughter's crib. Emma tried to stealthily approach him, but he turned towards her as soon as she took the first step._

 _"_ _I didn't wake you did I, love?" Killian's voice was filled with sincerity as he walked towards her, and it warmed Emma's heart._

 _"_ _You never do." Emma went up on her tip toes to press a gentle kiss to his lips. She pulled away just enough to look into his eyes, her brow furrowing at the deep sadness she saw there._

 _"_ _It's still early. Let's go back to bed, aye?" His hand graced her cheek and she leant into his touch, as a knot formed in her stomach at the broken note of his voice._

 _"_ _Give me a second." Emma left a kiss to his palm before stepping to his side to lay her eyes on the crib. The empty crib. She froze as reality clicked into place. Killian's sadness, her flat stomach, the hospital; all made sense. Pain rushed through her entire body and she let out a heart-breaking sob, as she felt Killian's strong arms come around. "I…but…I don't…I don't…" Emma stuttered into his chest, her mind unable to truly fathom the situation._

 _"_ _Sssh…it's going to be ok…I promise." Killian pressed kisses into her hair and she could feel his tears falling onto her, but she didn't care. Emma pressed herself against him, knowing that he was the only thing keeping her from falling._

 _Eventually her sobs began to soften and she slowly pulled her head up from his chest. She gulped down more tears as his hook tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She felt a cool breeze and turned her face towards it, her breath catching when she realised that they weren't in the nursery anymore. They weren't even inside. Emma took in the trees, the grass, cold stone slabs… her family. Standing slightly behind her and Killian, all of them dressed in black. Her mother weeping, her father holding onto her with a look of despair, Henry turned away into Regina's arms. She shook her head violently as she turned back to Killian, her confusion over how they got there forgotten for her pain over why they were there. Killian nodded his head slowly, leaning in to kiss her forehead before turning to the grave directly in front of them. Her stomach tightened as she followed his gaze and read the tombstone:_

 _'_ _Here lies Hope Swan Jones. Beloved Daughter, Sister and Granddaughter. "Some lights burn too bright to last". Sleep well our pirate princess."_

 _Her legs finally gave way as a string of agonized sobs tore from her throat. As always Killian was there to keep her standing, through the toughest day of their lives. As always Killian was putting her needs in front of his own, ignoring his own pain to take care of hers._

Killian awoke somewhat violently, and ran his hand over his face in an attempt to clear away his nightmare. His eyes fell on Emma and he let out a shaky breath; she was still here. He hadn't lost her yet. He jumped when a hand shook his shoulder, and he turned to see Whale sat next to him.

"Firstly I'd like to apologise for disturbing your sleep, but I can assure you that I have good reason." The doctor got up and stood away from Killian, as if he wanted to put as much distance between them as possible. Killian sighed before nodding at him to continue. "Ah, yes. Well I thought that you'd like to know that Emma's awake." At that Killian jumped out of his chair towards Emma's bed, leaning over to see her face. When he saw that her eyes were still closed, his heart sank.

"Is this some sort of sick joke? She's still-" Killian started towards Whale, but was stopped by the man raising his hand.

"Asleep? Yes I'm quite aware of that diagnosis thank you, Captain. However she did wake up momentarily, which is enough to say that she should be ok." Killian turned away from the man's smug expression and focused on his Emma. He noticed now that she was no longer connected to that machine that somehow breathed for her. She also had more colour in her cheeks; still much less than he would like but it was an improvement.

"When?" Killian sat back down in the chair, once again grasping Emma's hand in his own. "When did she wake up?"

"Oh I'd say about an hour ago." He heard Whale open the door, but didn't look away from Emma. "Hope you enjoyed your nap." The doctor added sarcastically before exiting the room. Killian wanted to be angry at him, wanted to go after him and make him apologise. But he couldn't. Cause all of his anger was focused on himself. Of course he was relieved beyond belief that Emma was going to be ok. He couldn't even begin to describe how amazing that felt. But she had still woken up alone. He had promised her and her family that he would be there for her, and he wasn't. Maybe he was there in the physical sense, but not in any way that mattered. He hadn't been able to talk to her. To reassure her that she was going to be ok. That they're baby was going to be ok. His eyes widened as he thought of their daughter. Emma didn't know what had happened. She didn't know that their baby girl was alive. He choked back tears as he thought of her waking up, scared and alone, with no idea where her child was.

"I'm sorry, love." Killian whispered in between kisses to her knuckles. "I'm sorry I left you alone. Again." He took a shaky breath as he leaned forward to leave a kiss on her forehead." I'm here now though, Emma. And I'm not going anywhere until I see those beautiful eyes of yours, hear your sweet voice in my ears." He stared at her for a few more moments before deciding that he should alert the others to the change in Emma's condition. Getting out his phone, he smiled at the picture of his daughter on his lock screen, becoming almost giddy with anticipation to show Emma. He sent a quick text off to David and Snow, including Regina as an afterthought, to explain that Emma's condition has much improved and that he would let them know when she woke up properly. David texted back almost immediately with his joy at the news, telling him that he'd let Henry know when he was awake. Regina conveyed that, even though she was happy to hear it, she know that Emma would pull through. Snow's reply was the last and by far the longest, basically her gushing over the news and thanking him for looking after her daughter. He proceeded to thank her for doing the same, his heart still stuttering at the thought that he had a daughter to be watched over.

Time flew past as Killian once again took to fawning over the pictures of Hope, his heart melting more and more with each swipe. He snapped his head up from his phone as a distressed groan came from Emma's lips. Putting his phone to one side, he surged forward and grabbed her hand. His heart skipped a beat when he felt her squeeze his hand, such a simple action that he may have never been able to feel again. Emma groaned again and her head started thrashing against the pillow, the way it did when she had night terrors. Killian squeezed her hand, rubbing comforting circles on to the skin; the way he had done so many times before, whenever Emma went through this. He leant forward to kiss her cheek, whispering reassurances on her skin. "Sssh Emma. You're ok. I promise you're ok. It's just a dream." Killian repeated these words over and over as he started to gently shake her shoulder. With a choked gasp Emma jolted awake, moaning at the pain that shot through her from the movement. She kept her eyes scrunched shut so Killian brought their joint hands up to cup her face. "Open your eyes, love." He felt her tense at the sound of his voice before she started to shake her head. "Please, sweetheart, it's me." He couldn't help but smile slightly when she bit her lip in that determined way of hers. "Emma, I really need to see your eyes. I need to know you're truly here with me. That I haven't…haven't lost you." Killian choked out a sob on the last part.

Emma's resolve crumbled from existence upon hearing the pain in his voice. She took a shaky breath before forcing herself to face reality once more. Her eyes locked with Killian's immediately and her breath caught at the love she found there. Killian let out a relived laugh at the sight of those green emeralds staring back at him. He leaned in to kiss her but she turned away too quickly, making his lips graze her cheek instead.

"Emma, love. It's ok. It's all going to be ok." Killian turned her to face him again, frowning when she squeezed her eyes shut before they could make contact with his. "I'm so glad you're ok. I was so wor-"

"I'm sorry." Emma's hoarse whisper cut him off, and he couldn't stop his heart from leaping at the sound of her voice.

"Sorry about what?" Killian took her hand in his and left a gentle kiss on her skin, taking a small victory when she didn't pull away.

"I'm…I'm…so sor…sorry." Emma started sobbing again and fresh tears flowed down her cheeks. "It's…all…my…my…fault." Killian's eyes widened as her words truly hit home; she was blaming herself for what fate had befallen their child. He chastised himself for forgetting to tell her immediately about their perfect healthy baby girl.

"No, no, no sweetheart-"

"Don't…tell me it's…it's not." Emma struggled to get her sorrowful hiccups under control. "You must…ha…hate me."

"I could never hate you, love. You've got it all wro-"

"Well you should hate m…me. For what I've…ta…taken away from…y…you." With that Emma began near on hysterical, shaking violently as sobs racked her body.

"Emma, listen to me." Killian grabbed her by the shoulders, putting just enough pressure there to help still her movements. "You haven't taken anything away. You've given me a daughter. You've given me everything." Emma's cries lodged in her throat at his words and she finally opened her eyes to meet his.

"Wh…what?" She sat herself up in bed, ignoring the aches of her body and Killian's protests. She needed to look him straight in the eye to make sure the words he said were true. "What did you say?"

"We have a healthy baby girl, Emma." Killian spoke softly as he lifted his hand to stroke the apple of her cheek. He smiled at the way her eyes simultaneously filled with disbelief and hope.

"Honestly?" Emma couldn't believe that her child was ok. Alive. Truly and surely. She still had difficulty buying into the whole happy ending thing even with all the fairytales happening around her.

"Pirate's honour, love." Killian chuckled as a smile finally broke out on Emma's face. "Your mother is looking over her upstairs. She's perfect, Swan. Absolutely perfect. With her tiny toes and dainty fingers. She may even be more beautiful than you, but I'll have to see you together before I make a final judgement." Emma didn't know what to think. Her heart felt like it was going to soar from her chest, hearing the man she loved gush over their new born daughter. Emma surged forward and captured his lips in a kiss, smiling at the surprised gasp that left his lips. She felt all of the love that he had for both her and their baby poured into the kiss. It was sweet, if a little overwhelming.

"I need to meet her." She kept her lips hovering just a breath away from his as she spoke.

"Nothing would make me happier." Killian sighed as he pulled back further, staring into her eyes as his hook stroked through her hair. "And as soon as the doctors say that you are well enough, I'll take you to her." Emma huffed as she dropped her head to the pillow.

"Now. I need to see her now, Killian." She tried for strongly defiant, but she couldn't mask the desperation in her voice. By the look on Killian's face he'd heard it to. Until she saw her child she was unable to shake the nagging feeling that he was lying to her. Protecting her from the pain that she had caused. "Please, I need to… I need to know that she's real."

"I know, love, but I-" Killian cut himself off as he looked at Emma with a wide smile and a mischievous glint in his eyes. He kept eye contact with her while reaching over to pick up his previously discarded phone. "Could you look at something for me?" He held out his phone for Emma to take; an offer which was not accepted. "Come on, Swan, you know how rubbish I am with what you call modern technology. I think it will be much quicker if you do it instead of me trying and failing miserably, which only-"

"Ugh, fine." Emma reluctantly took the phone, if only to stop his annoying ramblings. She rolled her eyes at her pirate, who was sat looking suspiciously pleased with himself. Her heart stopped when the lock screen appeared, a small gasp falling from her lips. There, behind the date and time, was a beautiful little girl lying peacefully in an incubator. Emma tried to blink back the tears that were welling in her eyes, as they made the image in front of her appear cloudy. The image of her daughter. A perfect combination of her and Killian. She typed in his passcode and, with her finger hovering over his photos, finally looked up at the man sat beside her. She smiled softly at the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. Opening her mouth to speak, Emma found that she had no words to do justice to the feelings encompassing her at that moment. She simply reached over with her free hand and grabbed his in hers, giving it a squeeze that she hoped offered some insight into the love flowing through her. Killian squeezed back, giving her a reassuring nod as she opened up his photos to see more of their child. Emma let out a breathy laugh as she flicked through the multiple pictures, way more than necessary but still not enough. She still felt a need to see her daughter, to hold her, to feel her skin under her fingertips. At least now she knew the most important thing, that she was alive. She was real. "Oh Killian…" She whispered, no longer able to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks.

"I know, Swan." Killian reached up and cupped her cheek, using his thumb to wipe away the tears staining her face. "I tried to tell you, but as you see she's too perfect for words."

"She's so tiny." Emma sighed as she swiped to a close-up of a little pink foot, so zoomed in that she could make out the label tied around her ankle. Her breath caught as she read the name on the label - ' _Hope Swan Jones_ '. Suddenly images from her dream rapidly pulsed through her mind; the empty crib, the sadness in Killian's eyes, her mourning family, the gravestone with her daughter's name engraved into it. The feeling of all-encompassing grief, emptiness. And falling, falling like she'd never be able to stop.

"Love?" Killian's worried tone brought Emma out of her spiral enough for her to turn towards him. His thumb was still rubbing circles into her cheek and she felt his eyes trying to bore into her very soul. She brought back the smile that has fallen from her face, doing her best to make it reach her eyes.

"You named her…Hope." Emma choked out, trying to keep the fear out of her voice. Killian released her cheek to scratch behind his ear, this adorable nervous tick not warming Emma's heart quite as much as it usually did.

"Ah, yes, well you see…" Killian stuttered as he tried to explain to Emma how he knew that it was what she wanted, without worrying her with the details of his slight breakdown.

"Why?" Emma wasn't sure if she was asking him or the world in general. All she knew is that where she may believe in hope and happy endings, she did not believe in coincidences. Killian winced at the sorrow he heard in her quiet voice, hating himself for not knowing what was troubling her.

"Well your father had the box in his truck, you know the box with our predictions in it. So we…I…I decided to look through it. And I found your one, well Henry actually found it, and seeing as we had a girl and you had put down a girl we thought, well I thought that, she should have the name you chose, in case…" Killian trailed off, suddenly realising that his ramblings had led him to reveal more of his true intentions from that moment than he had intended. He didn't want to let Emma feel any guilt towards what he had gone through since arriving at the hospital, and he knew the surest way to do that was not to let her know the desperate specifics. However, as he saw Emma's face fall once more in sadness, he knew he had failed in his attempt to shield her. If his list of failings got any longer, he was going to have to start writing them down to remember them all. "I love the name, your family do too, it suits her so completely that there was no discussion once we heard-"

"Change it." Emma's voice was cold as her gaze dropped from his to her lap. She locked his phone and thrust it towards him, as if the mere sight of it turned her stomach. Killian's eyes widened as he took it from her, sliding it into his jacket pocket while keeping his gaze on her. They lapsed into silence then, not one of their usual comfortable pauses but one filled with hurt and confusion.

"I don't quite understand, love." Killian spoke hesitantly, as if he didn't want to spook her by breaking the silence. He placed his hand on her shoulder, pulling it back as she quickly recoiled from his touch. "Emma. Please all I want to do is help."

"Then change the name." Emma didn't turn to look at him as she spoke, her monotone voice shaking him to his core.

"But what's wrong-" Killian persisted in his attempt to sooth her by gently stroking his hook through her hair.

"Now, Killian." Emma winced at the harshness of her voice, but she needed this. She needed him to go. She needed her daughter's name not to be on some gravestone, even if it was in her head.

"Okay, okay sweetheart. What name would you prefer?" Deciding that the best way to calm her was to go along with her request, even if only temporarily until he found out what was really going on in her head. Killian walked around to the bottom of her bed, not surprised in the slightest when Emma looked up at the ceiling. Her whole body was tense, and he wanted nothing more than to take away her pain.

"Just go and get rid of the name. They'll call her Baby Girl Swan Jones for now." Emma tried to keep her voice flat, but she knew that Killian heard the brokenness that lay beneath the surface. Otherwise she doubted that he would be obliging her quite so willingly.

"As you wish." Killian's whisper conveyed such emotion that Emma nearly broke down right then, but she managed to wait until he left the room. Once he had closed the door lightly behind him, Emma let her tears fall quickly as she sank into the mattress. She counted to twenty before allowing the sobs to once again rack her body. She felt so helpless. So selfish. Knowing that she was hurting him even more. That was why she had to do this. All she did was hurt those around her. She was so good at shutting people out. It should scare her how naturally it came to her by now. Instead she took comfort in knowing that her walls could be erected once more. She used to use them to keep other people out. Now she could use them to keep her destructive self in. She vowed never to let her child know the pain that loving her brought with it.


	10. Chapter 10

Killian leaned against the door of Emma's room, trying to understand what had just happened. How a moment of such relief and joy could manifest into something so heart-breaking. It must be some sort of cruel joke. The universe trying to put him and his family through never ending trials; seeing how long till they were ripped apart at the seams. Well he was determined that he would not let that happen. He would fight for those he loved with his last breath. He winced as he heard Emma sob from inside the hospital room. Oh how he longer to walk back in there and comfort her, make her world seem right again. She was clearly in so much pain and her walls were being re-built higher by the second. He needed to figure out how to bring her back to him, back to her – their – family, back to their daughter, so that their future could begin. Pulling himself together he started off down the corridor, more determined than ever to fix all that had been broken.

When he reached his daughter's room Killian knocked on the window, startling Snow out of her trance; a trance that had been brought on by this precious baby girl. She smiled softy when she saw him, but her expression quickly soured as she took in the look on the pirate's face. Sparing one more glance at her granddaughter, Snow stood and made her way outside.

"Killian, what's happened? I thought that you said Emma had woken up, that she was going to be ok-" Her heart started raising as she imagined what could have gone wrong.

"Aye, she's going to be ok." Snow visibly relaxed at Killian's words, although she could tell that he had more to say. "Physically anyway."

"What does that mean?" Snow asked harsher than she intended to. She gave Killian an apologetic smile, which he reciprocated.

"Honestly, I don't know. Emma woke up and I told her about our daughter. You should have seen the look on her face. At first it was as if she couldn't quite believe it then she seemed to fill with pure joy. She demanded to see her so I showed her the pictures I took earlier. For a few moments everything was perfect. The both of us marvelling over the beauty that is our baby girl." Killian chanced a glance through the glass at the new-born babe, his baby, and his words caught in his throat. Snow sensed his discomfort and reached forward, placing her hand on his arm. He took a deep breath as he tore his eyes away from his daughter. "Then she found out that I…we named her Hope and she shut down. She wants me to change it back, to take away her perfect name without even so much of a reason. I could almost physically see her building her walls back up. I just…" Killian blinked back tears as he saw Snow doing the same. "I just thought that the hardships had passed. That our happy ending was finally going to begin. I was foolish to hope…" He stopped himself as he realised what he had said. That word. Hope. That word that meant so much to all of them. That was meant to mean so much more in the form of his daughter. Killian didn't know that he was crying until Snow wiped a tear track from his cheek. He leaned into her touch, seeing her more as a mother now than he ever had before. For this he was grateful as he really needed some motherly comfort right now.

"Oh, Killian." Snow spoke softly, her heart aching for him as well as her daughter.

"I just don't know what to do." Killian sighed, moving away from Snow's embrace to run a shaky hand through his hair. He could usually read Emma like an open book, knowing exactly what she was thinking and therefore how to help her. The only other time he hadn't been able to get through to her was when she was the dark one. This thought made him shudder, and he forced himself to dismiss the memories of his Emma being that monster. He didn't think he could cope with having her be so cold to him again.

"Maybe I should go and talk to her." Snow offered, causing Killian to raise an eyebrow out of uncertainty. It wasn't that he didn't trust Snow, he just didn't want to make the situation even worse. Pushing Emma right now would most likely end with her pulling away further. Snow sensed Killian's hesitation and smiled softly. "Even to just keep an eye on her. Killian, you deserve to spend some time alone with your daughter. Much the same as I need to with mine." Before Killian could say another word, Snow walked down the corridor intent on getting to the bottom of her daughter's distress. Killian watched her walk away, praying that she could succeed where he had failed. With a heavy heart he went to sit by his daughter, hoping that he never failed her like he had her mother.

As the lift doors opened Snow's eyes immediately latched onto her husband, who had been waiting anxiously for the lift to arrive. "David." she breathed out, rushing to give him a hug before he'd properly registered her presence. The prince quickly returned his wife's embrace, trying not to worry as her grip on him grew tighter. The lift doors closed and the carriage left without them, but the couple didn't take any notice.

"Snow." David pulled away slightly so he could see his wife's face, her sad expression causing his heart to twinge. "Snow, what's happened? Is everyone ok?" He struggled to keep his voice calm as his mind was racing so fast.

"Everyone's fine. Well…um…not fine exactly but healthy. I think." Snow started rambling as she tried to explain the situation, which she didn't really understand herself. David rubbed his hands down her arms comfortingly. She took a deep breath. "Emma told Killian to change Hope's name, and then she completely closed off to him. He said it was like she was going back behind her walls. After all she's done to get rid of them, how long it took for us to break through them, I just don't think I can handle seeing her like that." She lay her head on her husband's shoulder as a few tears slipped onto his shirt.

"Is Killian with Emma now?" Snow shook her head in response. "So he's watching over Hope–their daughter?" Although she had only just come into being, David had already gotten into the habit of using his granddaughter's given name; he hoped that Emma would be persuaded to keep it. He felt Snow nod into his shoulder and he smiled sadly, sensing how tired she was. "Right so at least she's got someone with her. Regina has Henry at hers and Belle is looking after Neal. Now with Emma–"

"I'm going to her." Snow croaked out pulling back from David's embrace and wiping her eyes.

"As I was saying. I'll go to Emma" He laid a hand on his wife's shoulder as she moved to protest. "and you, my darling wife, will go home to rest."

"But she needs me." Snow argued weakly, knowing deep down that he was right. "Our daughter needs me."

"That's right, she does. She needs you to take care of yourself so that you're able to take care of her. I promise you I'll look after our baby, and call you if anything changes." David kissed his wife on the forehead, letting his lips linger. "

"Ok I'll go home. Only for a couple of hours though." Snow relented as she hugged her husband once more before turning towards the exit. "Remember David if anything happens, I mean anything…"

"I'll be straight on the phone to you." David called after her, not being able to help having a small chuckle at his wife's persistence. As he walked towards Emma's room his mood turned graver, the uncertainty over what state he'll find her in made him anxious. He knocked on her door lightly. Hearing no response he slowly entered her room, closing the door gently behind him as not to disturb her. However as he moved closer to her bed, he saw that she was wide awake staring at the ceiling, with tear tracks stained to her cheeks. David's heart broke as he took in the despair in her red puffy eyes. "Emma." He spoke softly as he sat in a chair and took her hand in his. She flinched slightly at his touch, but other than that didn't acknowledge his presence. "Hey princess, how're you feeling?" She still didn't say anything, so he reached up to turn her head towards him. "Emma…"

"I'm fine." Emma mumbled, pulling her chin away from his touch. When she saw her father's hurt expression, she chastised herself for bringing pain to yet another person she loved. Plastering a smile on her face, she squeezed his hand. "Really, you don't have to worry about me." Emma refused to look him directly in the eyes, knowing that they would give her true feelings away. Because honestly, she hadn't felt this far from fine in a long time.

"Sadly Emma, as your father it's my job to worry about you. I'm never going to stop worrying about you, especially when you're in the hospital." David did not for one second believe that his daughter was fine, but knew that pushing it was not the way to go. "I'm so relieved that you're ok." Emma just smiled weakly before turning her attention back to the ceiling. "I was so scared, Ems, we all were. We didn't know what was going to happen, to either of you…" David trailed off as he saw Emma squeeze her eyes shut, her hand leaving his to grasp at her hospital duvet. He knew she was trying to stay in control, and he hoped that she would soon let him in. He reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, softly grazing his thumb over the apple of her cheek. Emma shook her head at the gentle gesture, her eyes remaining firmly closed.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, not being able to imagine what her family must have gone through.

"Sweetheart don't apologise. None of this is your fault." David unknowingly repeated the words that Killian had said to her earlier. Emma didn't believe them any more coming from her father's lips than she had done from Killian's. The more people who came to see her, the more people who were putting their lives on hold for her, the guiltier she was feeling. She had to remind herself that they weren't just here for her. They were here for her daughter in ways she couldn't be and for that she was grateful. Her daughter had so many who cared for her, so many who could genuinely help her.

"Have you seen her?" Emma asked as confirmation for her thoughts. She needed to be sure that they would be there for her daughter.

"Yes I have. She's so beautiful Emma. You did good, kid." David's voice was filled with love and sincerity, as he was sure that love was the way to melting her walls.

"Not just me. Killian played a part too." Emma tried to joke, hoping that bringing up her and Killian's intimate relationship would distract her father. His wince at her words signalled that they'd had the desired effect.

"I don't want to ever think about the part that he played in my granddaughter's existence." David grimaced as he attempted to block any further thoughts on the subject from entering his mind. Emma forced out a small giggle to keep up the happy pretence for her father. "Although, I am grateful for the happiness that having Killian in your life has brought you. That's all I want for you, Emma. All I've ever wanted is for you to be loved and cherished as you deserve." He started to stroke her hair as he saw tears glisten her eyes. "Well, I'm sure you understand that wish. Given all you already do to care for Henry, and now your new born daughter who I'm sure you'll give the world to. That's what our family does right? We give our children their best chance." David shot his daughter a watery smile as he made himself comfortable in his chair. He knew that he wouldn't be leaving her anytime soon. As they fell silent, Emma thought about what he had said. He was right. No matter how hard it was going to be, she needed to give her children their best chance.

 _Emma had decided that the sheriff's station would be the best place to do this. She was on her own seeing as her dad was spending the day with Neal, so she knew that she wouldn't be interrupted or questioned. However she had never realised just how small her work's bathroom was, that was until she tried to pace to lessen her anxiety; a task that could not be done seeing as a step in any direction brought you to a wall. Dejectedly she sat on the closed toilet seat and begun tapping a random rhythm into her thigh, trying to sort through her thoughts one by one. The most important question was did she want it? But that was one which she was too scared to answer. Had they planned this? Well not exactly, but surely this was something that the future was eventually going to bring. They weren't married, he hadn't even proposed yet. Did that matter? Not to her; she did want to get married at some point but the order of events didn't really bother her. This was the 21_ _st_ _Century. Would it matter to him? He was a three hundred year old pirate after all, and the Enchanted Forest had stayed pretty traditional. Oh god she hadn't even thought about her parents. Their love story might not have been the most traditional, but they were married before they had her. She didn't even know if they'd had sex before marriage, honestly she didn't want to know, but she imagined people were more careful in their world seeing as methods of contraception were limited. Her mother would probably be ecstatic, but her father might vow to kill Killian for impregnating his daughter out of wedlock. Never mind the fact that she was hardly innocent in that area, seeing as she already has a teenage son. Speaking of, what would Henry think of all of this? She herself knew from watching her parents with Neal, how hard it is to see a sibling get the childhood that you never did. Her parents didn't love her any less; neither would she with Henry, but she worried that he would feel replaced by a new baby. Emma's thoughts sped round her head, making her dizzy and she felt like she was going to throw up. Standing up on unsteady legs, she leant on the sink and splashed cold water on her face. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she came back to the most important question, the question she had left unanswered. Did she want to have a baby?_

 _The timer going off on her phone rang loudly as it shocked her out of her thoughts. With a shaking hand she picked up the test from the sink and flipped it over._

 ** _Positive._**

 _Emma stared at the answer until it became completely blurred by tears, a sob escaping her lips. Yeah, she thought, looking back at herself in the mirror. Yeah she definitely wanted this baby._

Emma shook her head at the memory. Did she still want this baby, her daughter? Of course she did. But most importantly she wanted to give her child her best chance. Was she her best chance? No, she definitely wasn't. Giving Henry up was the hardest thing she had ever done, but she had done it because she had to for the sake of her kid. Now she was going to have to do the same. Turning her head slowly she saw her father had his eyes closed, his mouth slightly open and a light snore sounded with each breath. His jacket was slung over the arm of the chair. Leaning over him she gently reached her hand into the sheriff's pocket, until her hands grasped around his keys. Emma knew that she'd have to move quickly, that any noise would wake her father and then she would lose her only chance. So as quietly as possible she unhooked herself from the machines and propelled herself up from the bed. She let out a soft gasp as pain ripped through her, steadying herself on the side table as her vision blurred. Squeezing her eyes shut she attempted to breathe through the pain. When she opened her eyes, her vision had returned and she had calmed down enough to magic up a change of clothes. A spell which was normally cast with just a simple flick of wrists, required great concentration and the majority of her strength to undertake. She knew that it would be impossible to magic herself out of the hospital in her current state, so Emma started towards the door. As she reached for the doorknob she froze, hearing her father stir behind her. If any of her family found out what she was doing, they would never leave her alone again; or they wouldn't fall asleep when charged with keeping an eye on her. After a few seconds she turned her head, letting out a sigh of relief as she saw that the prince was still firmly asleep. With that she slowly turned the handle and gently opened the door, checking the corridor was clear before putting up her hood and making her way towards the exit. She left the door to her room open, not wanting to chance waking up her dad by shutting it. She knew she didn't have long before she was discovered, either her father when he woke or the nurses coming on their rounds would see that she was gone. She needed to make sure she was far away by that point. So breathing through the pain she staggered into the cool evening air. Spotting her father's truck parked not too far away, Emma took a deep breath and forced herself to walk towards it. The only thing keeping her going was thoughts of her children, and how she was doing this to give them their best chance.


	11. Chapter 11

Snow's mind was reeling as she walked along by the harbour, trying to get her mind around the previous day's events. The fresh air had always helped to calm her, something that she had passed onto both of her children. Therefore when Belle had told her that Neal had been fussing since David had dropped him off, she knew what they both needed. The effect on Neal had been almost instant and he was now happily babbling away to himself in the buggy. Snow was glad that at least one of her children's problems could be fixed so easily. She wished she could just keep Neal this way, keep him close to her so that no-one could hurt him. Emma has experienced so much pain in her life, most of which her daughter would never tell her about. Snow wished that she could know every detail of her child's existence, but knew that that wasn't going to happen. She could only hope that Emma shared her deepest secrets with Killian, if no-one else. Snow let out a long sigh which got cut short as her eyes fell on a familiar looking vehicle. For a split second she thought it was the truck she knew so well. She shook that thought from her head and made her way towards it, noticing the pretty shoddy parking job. No, it definitely was her husband's truck. It had the same dent in the side from one of the numerous battles it had been involved in. Snow tried not to let herself get consumed with confused panic as she looked around for David. Coming up short, the queen pulled out her phone to speed-dial her husband. The few rings that it took him to answer only made her anxiety grow.

" _Snow, I-_ " David's voice sounded how Snow felt, so she decided to get straight to the bottom of what had happened.

"David, why is your truck down by the docks?" Snow asked a little harsher than she intended to.

" _What… I…_ " Snow heard rustling through the phone, and was about to demand an answer to her question when her other half's voice returned. " _She's taken the truck._ " The statement was spoken quietly, as if David was talking more to himself.

"What? David who's taken the…" Snow trailed off and her heart seemed to stop all together. "Emma…?" She managed to croak out her daughter's name, hoping she was wrong.

" _Snow she isn't here. I don't know where she's gone. I must have fallen asleep, I mean I did fall asleep, I woke up to your call. My keys are gone, she must have taken them. Oh god, Snow I'm so sorry. This all my_ -" The prince was sending himself into a frantic spiral, one which his wife couldn't let continue.

"Don't. Don't you dare say this is your fault. It's not."

" _But, Snow-_ " Snow's heart broke upon hearing devastation in her husband's voice.

"I said stop." Snow paused to wait to see if he would continue to argue.

" _What do we do now?"_ David sighed in defeat, although Snow knew he was still blaming himself.

"Now…" Snow blinked away the tears forming in her eyes as she tried to think clearly. "Now I find our daughter. Your truck's here, so she must be too."

" _I'm on my way._ "

"No, you need to stay there. Just in case she comes back." Snow shook her head as her husband began to object. "Look, I know it's unlikely but we need to cover all options. Just let me try."

" _Fine."_ David sighed. " _Should I tell Hook?_ "

"I don't think so. He's got enough to deal with right now and he needs to be with his daughter. Hook will…" Snow heard a bird squawk and instinctively looked up, watching the creature as it landed on the sail of a ship. A ship that she knew well. The Jolly Roger. "Um David, I'm going to call you back. I think I might know where our daughter is."

" _Let me know if you find her. If you don't, I'm sending help._ "

"Charming, she's going to be ok. Love you." Snow hoped that she sounded convincing, even if she wasn't convinced herself.

" _Yeah I know. Love you too._ " Snow hoped she had sounded more convinced than her husband did. Hanging up the phone she leant over to check on Neal, who looked up at her with big eyes sucking on his favourite toy. She gently removed the toy from his mouth and kissed his forehead, earning her a giggle in response. Snow's heart calmed ever so slightly at the sight of her happy baby boy. After a moment, she straightened up and made her way to the Jolly Roger. Hopefully to her baby girl. Snow unstrapped her son from his pushchair and took him into her arms. Neal squealed with delight as they bordered the ship. He had been on the ship a few times before and, much to David's dismay, was always excited to spend time there.

"Mama! Mama! Luk!" Snow smiled at his enthusiasm while scanning the deck for her daughter.

"I know, sweetie." She sighed as he squirmed in her arms.

"Down pease. I wanna down, Mama!" Neal pleaded as he continued to try to free himself from her grip. His mother knew that bringing him on her own wasn't ideal, and that she'd never find Emma if he went into a full blown toddler tantrum.

"Ok, but stay where I can see you. Promise?" When Neal nodded his head in response, Snow planted a kiss to his head before reluctantly lowering him down. As she expected he was off like a shot, toddling around babbling to himself about what he could see. Snow kept an eye on him as she headed up the stairs to the wheel of the ship, thinking it would be a good vantage point. Seeing no sign of her daughter brought tears to her eyes once again and this time she couldn't stop them. She grabbed hold of wheel and tried to steady her breathing.

"Emmy!" Snow's head shot up in time to see her son making his way towards the entrance to the Captain's quarters.

"Neal. Wait for Mama." Snow wiped her eyes as she ran down the steps and to her son; who luckily decided to wait patiently for her.

"I wait Mama." Neal clapped his hands together as a sign of approval at his good behaviour.

"Thank you. You're such a good boy." Snow gushed as she picked up Neal, holding him slightly tighter than before. Her eyes widened when she remembered what her son had said. "Sweetie, what did you say about Emma?"

"Luk Mama. Is Emmy!" He turned and pointed his finger down to the room below. Snow stopped breathing as she slowly descended the steps, keeping her boy close to her chest. She let out a sob at the sight of her daughter, lying on the bed looking even paler than she did in the hospital. Emma's chest was heaving up and down, letting her family know that she was breathing. "Why she sleep? It light." She set Neal down on the bed, her heart warming as he immediately made his way to cuddle up to his older sister. Snow knelt by the head of the bed stroking her daughter's hair.

"Emma, sweetheart. Can you hear me?" Snow let the tears fall down her face as she heard her mumble incoherently. When Neal reached up and started to play with Emma's cheeks, the saviour's eyes fluttered open. Her face lit up at the sight of her baby brother cuddled up with her. The moment of bliss was short lived as her mind caught up with recent events. "Oh, Emma." She hadn't noticed her mother's presence until that point, and it caused her sit up straight.

"I…um…what are you doing here?" Emma croaked out, trying to ignore the wave of nausea coming over her.

"I could ask you the same question. Emma what were you thinking! You need to be in the hospital. You've been through a lot. You need to rest and let yourself heal." Despite her raised voice, Snow pulled her daughter into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're ok." Snow spoke softly into her daughter's hair, rocking her back and forth.

"Emmy ok." Neal said with such conviction as he joined the hug. That was the final straw for Emma. Her little brother's presence broke through her walls like a dam bursting. She clung to her mom as the sobs came hard and fast. She was exhausted, she was terrified and she was lonely. Her need for comfort finally overcame her need to shut herself off. Emma had no idea how long they stayed like that, her mom shushing her and telling her it was ok. Eventually she felt like she couldn't cry anymore and she released herself from the hug. The loss of contact saddened her, but thankfully her mother seemed to sense this as she entwined their hands. The little boy looked up the pair with tears of his own glistening in his eyes. "Mama? Emmy? Ok?" Emma pulled him into her lap and smiled down at him.

"Yeah, baby bro. We're ok." She looked deep into his eyes and gave him a wink. He still seemed worried so she used her free hand to tickle his belly, sending him into a fit of giggles. Snow smiled at her children; she loved having them both in one place, with her to look after them. She sent a quick text off to David letting him know that she'd found Emma and that they'd take the truck back to the hospital soon.

"Ok. Ok." The little boy managed to get out in between laughs, so Emma stopped her onslaught and just held him close to her instead.

"How did you know?" Emma whispered and Snow tried not to wince at how breathless she sounded.

"That you left, or that you'd be here?" When she got no reply, Snow decided to tell her everything. "Well I saw the truck was here so I phoned your dad who told me that you were missing. He realised that his keys were missing so we worked out that you'd taken the truck. As soon as I saw the Jolly I knew this is where you would have come."

"Was pretty obvious, I guess." Emma looked up with an attempt at a smile, but it didn't anywhere near reach her eyes.

"What I don't know is why…" Snow squeezed her hand reassuringly as held her gaze. Silence fell between them for so long that a lot of people would have given up on getting an answer, but she knew her daughter.

"I… I can't be a mother." Emma looked down at Neal who had once again put his toy in his mouth. As if subconsciously she gently took it out of his mouth and grazed her lips over the top of his head. Snow smiled knowingly at the sight, her daughter's statement being contradicted by her maternal actions. She knew that wouldn't be enough to convince her. "I know what you're going to say. That I'm already a mom, Henry's mom. And he is an amazing kid… but…"

"But you didn't raise him from the beginning." Snow added softly seeing the blonde struggle for words. She reached out to cup her cheek, using her thumb to rub away a lone tear. "I get that, sweetheart, I do. More than most I think." She shot her daughter a watery smile before continuing. "Emma, do you remember what you said to me all those months ago. When you told me you were pregnant?"

 _Emma looked across the loft at Killian, noticing that his fingers drumming against his thigh had only gotten more intense since the llast time she checked. If she had been nervous about telling Henry, he was on a whole other level now that this day had come. The day to tell her parents. He understood that they had to, after telling Henry they only had so long until he let it slip; or wrote about it in his book for everyone to read. However he had been on edge since they woke up that morning, and Emma couldn't help think how adorable it was to see this side of the fearsome Captain Hook. Her mother snapped her out of her thoughts by asking her to get a bottle of wine for the table. She smiled when she found that her parents had got in her favourite red for the evening; trying not to be too disappointed that she couldn't have any. Shaking it off she popped open the bottle, ignoring Killian's watchful eye, and got out four glasses. She set them down on the table just as Snow called the boy's over to eat. Emma made sure to sit next to Killian, with her father sitting across from her so he was as far away from her true love as possible. She grasped Killian's hand on the table, giving him a reassuring squeeze before letting him tuck in to his meal. Snow had to contain herself from gushing at them two sharing little loving moments like that together. The four of them started eating and a gentle flow of conversation began. However Killian barely said a word and Emma didn't seem interested in having the food in front of her. David noticed that something seemed off, something tangible in the air, but he couldn't hazard a guess at what. Living in Storybrooke, it could be anything._

 _"_ _So it's a shame Henry couldn't make it tonight." David mused as he finished up his meal. "It seems a lot quieter without him." Snow glanced at her husband, knowing exactly where he was going with this. "Why couldn't he come again? I mean he's never missed one of our Sunday dinners before."_

 _"_ _Actually… we asked him if he minded skipping this one." Emma was trying to casually approach the subject, which was proving hard with Killian's leg constantly jittering against her own._

 _"_ _Why? Is something wrong? What's happened?" David went into full on Prince/Sheriff mode, ready to protect the people he cared about from whatever problem they were facing. This only made Killian shrink into his chair further, and Emma had to bite on her lip to stop the laughter bubbling up in her chest._

 _"_ _No, Dad. Nothing's happened. Well nothing bad anyway. Um… you see…" All planning that she had done for this moment went out of her head, her mind blindly searching for the best way to say this. Killian grabbed her hand but didn't make any move to take over from her, not that she expected him to. Snow, in the meantime, was going through the possibilities in her head: Moving in together? Done. Getting married? No ring (also Hook would probably ask for David's permission first). Having a Baby? She looked down at Emma's glass, and saw that she hadn't even poured any for herself. And she hadn't eaten much of her dinner, so a change in appetite. Oh. My. Goodness._

 _"_ _Oh, Emma!" Snow gasped as tears welled in her eyes. She clasped her hand over her mouth, silently berating herself for not letting Emma say what she wanted to say first. She couldn't help it. Her little girl was going to have another baby. "Is it true? Are you…" Emma nodded her head in response, feeling a tear slip down her cheek at her mother's reaction. Killian, however, was still on edge waiting for David._

 _"_ _You're what Emma?" The prince asked cautiously, as he too checked for a ring on her finger. "Women, am I right Hook?" He chuckled as he looked over at his mate, who was doing all he could to avoid eye contact. Suddenly all of the pieces slotted together. His little girl was going to have another baby. "Please tell me the ring is at the jewellers." Killian looked as if to go to speak, but then thought better of it. David clenched his fists. A baby. Out of wedlock. With a pirate. "Hook." David repeated the moniker with much more bite, forcing the man in question to meet his gaze._

 _"_ _Dad, I-" Emma reaches over to lay a hand on her father's arm, attempting to sooth him._

 _"_ _Emma, don't." He didn't look at her eyes cause he knew he crumble to her wishes. Instead he kept his glare at Killian, who had always maintained eye contact. "Hook, please explain to me why-"_

 _"_ _Why what Dad? Why he got me pregnant? Cause that's what you're thinking isn't it? That he did this to me? Well I thought being a father of two children would have given you some inkling into how babies are made, and that it takes two to make one. We are both consenting adults who love each other and want to have a future together." Emma had gotten out of her chair and was staring down at her father._

 _"_ _Emma don't get upset. I just want to make sure he'll do right by you. That this is what you truly need. That you're ready for this." David stood up so he was on level with his daughter._

 _"_ _What because I wasn't last time is that it?" Emma felt tears stream down her face but she didn't care. Killian went to grasp her hand but she yanked it away. In her mind he hadn't been much help either._

 _"_ _Princess, you know that wasn't-"_

 _"_ _Save it. We have proved time and time again that we will do anything for each other. Killian's sacrificed himself for me god knows how many times and I literally went to hell and back for him. But if all that's still not enough for you then fine. We're having a baby whatever you think so it's your choice." And with that Emma stormed upstairs, collapsing on the bed in a fit of angry sobs. Killian went to go after her but Snow laid a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him back into his seat._

 _"_ _David Nolan, what the hell was that?" Snow turned to her husband, who sank back into his chair under his wife's gaze._

 _"_ _Look Snow, I didn't mean for it to get so out of hand. She just my little girl and I want to make sure –"_

 _"_ _Don't make excuses, David. Now I'm going to go and check on our pregnant daughter, while you share a drink with the father to be. Who happens to be her true love, not to mention one of your closest friends. And if you even try to give him a hard time, you will become closely acquainted with the couch indefinitely." Snow waited for him to nod shamefully in response before she got up to leave. Killian followed her to the bottom of the stairs._

 _"_ _Are sure this is wise, love? He still doesn't seem best pleased and to leave us alone in the kitchen, which has a wide array of sharp objects, might not be the best idea." Killian whispered to Snow, trying not to imagine the various ways David could kill him._

 _"_ _You'll be fine, Killian. My husband may be many things, but he isn't a murderer. Trust me just win him round with some of that pirate charm." And with she went upstairs to leave the men to sort it out between them. Sitting up against the headboard beside her daughter, she began to run her fingers through her hair. "You know your father is just trying to protect you right?" Snow felt Emma tense so before she could object, she continued. "And I know he was wrong, I have told him as much and I think he knows it too. Of course he doesn't have to protect you from Killian. It's just hard for any father to share their little girl with another man in her life."_

 _"_ _I know that, I do. But I don't see why he can't just be happy for me, for us." Emma sighed deeply as she moved her head into her mother's lap._

 _"_ _Oh, sweetheart. He is happy for you, I promise." She laughed slightly at the skeptical_ _look that was shot at her. "I know it may not seem like that right now." They sat in silence for a moment, Emma finding calmness in the embrace. "And it probably goes without saying, but I'm ecstatic about having another grandchild."_

 _"_ _Oh I know." Emma smiled as she sat up against the headboard, wiping away any stray tears. Snow grasped her hand, which had the saviour smiling again at the contact. "Thanks you know."_

 _"_ _For what, baby?" She turned to face her daughter, who decided to let that particular pet name slide for once._

 _"_ _For reacting like this. For being the kind of mom who is excited to hear about their kid's lives. For just wanting me to be happy." Emma blinked back tears, she'd done enough crying already._

 _"_ _You don't have to thank me for anything. I'm just hoping that I'm making up for all the times I wasn't there."_

 _"_ _Oh come on, we're not going there today. Ok?" Emma looked over at Snow sternly, who gave her a watery smile. "And for the record, you've already made up for that a thousand times." She left a pause, but it was clear there was more to say. "I… yeah… um… so when I found out I was pregnant… you know the first time, with Henry." Snow gave her hand a gentle squeeze, knowing how hard it still was for her talk about her past; especially her pregnancy with Henry. "Well, when I couldn't sleep… most nights actually… I used to think about how I would tell my parents. You know if I'd lived with you my whole life, and Neal was some boyfriend who knocked me up. I used to imagine what you'd say." Emma laughed in spite of herself, keeping her gaze on their joined hands. "I used to think that my dad would probably kill Neal for stealing my virtue or whatever, and be cross with me for ruining my life so young. And then my mom would come over to hold me, dry my tears and tell me that she was there for me no matter what." By this time both women had tears running down their faces, but neither bothered to bat them away. "Talk about predicting the future, right?" Emma attempted to make the atmosphere lighter but couldn't bring herself to laugh._

 _"_ _Then what happened?" Snow whispered, cupping her daughter's face in her hands._

 _"_ _Um… then my dad crumbled. Said he just wanted what was best for me and… and he would protect me against anything." Emma blushed as more tears fell from her eyes._

 _"_ _Well I think it's time to move on to that part then." Snow smiled as she got up from the bed, wiping away her tears as she did so. However, Emma didn't move from her place. "What is it? Still angry with your father?"_

 _"_ _No. Well kind of, but it's not that. It's just so different this time. Before this family setup was something I concocted in my head, what I wished would happen. Now it actually has, I… I can't believe it's real."_

 _"_ _It's very real, sweetie. I promise you, you're not going to be left alone this time. You'll get to raise this baby with the man you love by your side and your family to support you every step of the way."_

 _"_ _I really need to get used to that." Emma lifted herself of the bed. "Now let's make sure Dad hasn't taken Killian's other hand." She meant it as a joke, but let out a sigh of relief upon seeing her pirate still fully intact. David jumped up as soon as her foot touched the floor and she didn't hesitate to run into his arms. Her world seemed right again the moment his hand cradled the back of her head, as it always did. He was repeatedly apologising into her hair but she didn't listen. She'd already forgiven him. She knew that this was part of being a parent. You mess up and you get things wrong, but as long as you always have your child's best interests at heart there is nothing you can't come back from._

"I say a lot of things." Emma mumbled as she set her brother down on the floor.

"You talked about how when you were pregnant with Henry, you used to dream of what it would have been like to have family there for you. And how it's different this time."

"I remember." Emma whispered, looking up at her mother's face and seeing the pure maternal love in her eyes. Up until a few years ago she never thought she would have someone look at her like that. Someone who loved her unconditionally. Now she had countless people.

"And I meant what I said. You're not alone, Emma. Not now, not ever." Snow saw a glimmer of something in her daughter's gaze. Something that made her heart leap. Amongst all of the pain and anguish was a small glimmer of hope. "Your baby girl won't be either."

"I know. She has all of you who I know care so much about her already. That's why I can…" Emma quickly stopped herself, knowing she had already said too much.

"Can what Emma?" Snow reached over to cup her daughter's face in her hands. She gasped softly as she realised what her little girl meant. "Leave? Oh sweetheart, this baby – your baby – needs you more than anything."

"But I-" Emma meekly protested.

"But nothing. Yes she has me and your father for grandparents. Yes she has Killian for a father. Henry for a brother. I'm sure Neal will be a good uncle in years to come. Yet you know what's missing? She needs a mom, Emma. She needs you."

"What if I fail her?" Emma confessed her deepest fear as fresh tears welled in her eyes.

"You won't baby. We'll be there with you every step of the way." She laid a kiss to her daughter's forehead before moving to pick up her son, who was attempting to climb up the stairs. Turning back she saw her daughter biting her lip, a nervous habit she'd had for as long as Snow had known her. "There's a little girl lying in a hospital waiting for her mommy. What say we go bring her one?" Emma's eyes widened at her mother's words and suddenly the pang she had been hiding came back in full force. Seeing her brother snuggled up to her mother, just made her ache to see her child. So much so that she could barely.

"Yeah. I'm going to meet my baby girl." Emma pushed herself off of the bed, ignoring the pain that rippled from her stomach at the movement. Taking a deep breath she followed her mother up to the deck and then off of the ship, much to Neal's disappointment. Emma promised him that they'd come back soon, her heart warming at the thought of her and Killian bringing their daughter on board the Jolly Roger. First of all she needed to get back to them, back to her family, back to her happy ending. She just hoped Killian would forgive her. Even though she knew she'd probably never forgive herself.


	12. Chapter 12

Killian never had imagined just how much you could love a child, a new-born child who had nothing but sleep since coming into existence. Yet he would gladly sit and watch his daughter for eternity, watch as her whole body seemed to rise and fall with each breath. It felt as though time passed differently here. That everyone was frozen apart from him and his baby girl, tucked away in this safe hospital room.

A sharp knock on the door brought Killian to reality and he looked up to see Dr Whale entering the room. This man rarely brought good news so he was immediately put on edge by the doctor's presence.

"We ran some tests on your daughter." Whale visibly gulped as Killian rose from his seat, glaring daggers at the blonde man; as if this would prevent the doctor from delivering some bad news. "Um just routine stuff, I assure you, checks we do on every new-born. And then some precautionary ones given the circumstances of her birth. They all came back fine. As good as we could have hoped for." Both men visibly deflated in relief at the good news, both probably for different reasons.

"So she's alright. Completely alright." Killian breathed out as he turned back to gaze at his daughter.

"Yes she is. So much so that she can be moved off of the children's ward completely. We'll move her in with Emma for another day or so, monitor them both. And if all looks good you'll be able to take them both home. Now, of course–" Whale was cut off by his pager and excused himself from the room. Killian watched the man through the window as he went to use the ward's closest phone. However his mind was reeling from what he'd just heard. His daughter was going to be just fine. And that delighted him more than words could describe. He felt an incredible weight lift off his shoulders. There was still tension there though. His worried about Emma hadn't lessened and now she was going to meet their daughter. That might overwhelm her to an extent where she hides even further behind those walls. But there wasn't anything to be done. He just had to hope that she melted as soon as she saw her baby girl. He was sure that her love for her child would out way whatever fears were clouding her current judgment. Killian tensed as he saw Whale glance over at him with an anxious look of confusion before putting down the phone. The doctor seemed to be debating not telling him whatever was said on the other line, so Killian went out into the corridor. He strode up to the man, taking away any option of him subtly walking away, and looked at him expectantly.

"Well…" Killian bit out when Whale made no move to explain the phone call to him. The doctor started mumbling unintelligibly which only infuriated him further. "Spit it out Whale."

"I don't suppose you've heard from Emma have you?" Whale spoke the words so quickly that Killian almost didn't catch them. But he did and his blood ran cold.

"What the bloody hell does that mean? What's happened to Emma?" Killian grabbed the doctor by his coat, clenching his fist so tightly that the veins on his hand jutted out. Whale wrenched himself free of the hold and smoothed out the crumbled material, not meeting the pirate's thunderous gaze.

"She's missing." Killian's eyes widened and his heart clenched at the news. Missing? How the hell could she be missing? She shouldn't even be out of bed. "We're pretty sure she's left the hospital." Killian's head started spinning faster and he had to place his hand on the wall to steady himself. Did she just up and leave? He knew she was upset, the troubled look on her face never straying far from his mind. But to put herself in danger? To risk so much harm to herself to run away. He felt the familiar feeling of rising up his throat but he swallowed down the urge to throw up again. He had to focus on finding Emma.

"I'm going to find her. And I will find her. And if she has come to any harm, believe me I will hold you and your hospital responsible. So you better hope that she's ok." Killian fought to keep his tone level, using a voice that he perfected in his days as Captain Hook. By the look in Whale's eyes and the short nod in response, he knew that he hadn't lost his touch. Turning back round his eyes fell on his daughter's room and he faltered for a second. He had promised her that he would never leave her alone again. And it was a promise that didn't intend to ever break, let alone a few short hours after making it.

"I'll get a nurse to sit with her while you're gone." Whale's voice held true compassion, something which Killian had never heard from the doctor. Turning his head he gave the blonde man a short nod before heading towards the stairs; he knew that he wouldn't be able to wait for a lift.

"I will find you Emma. I'll always find you." He whispered as entered the stairwell, taking the steps two at a time causing him to trip on several occasions due to his haste. He made a beeline for Emma's room, knowing that he had to see her empty bed for it properly sink in. He was still holding onto the hope that this was some kind of misunderstanding. Some fault in communications, mix up of facts or patients. Realising that the Charming's blind hope mantra had obviously rubbed off on him in a big way, he shook his head and entered her room. The first thing he took in was the empty hospital bed, with sheets and wires strewn across it haphazardly. He thought back the tears that began to burn at his eyes, because crying would not help him find Emma. The door opened behind him and he turned to see who he hoped was Emma. However he was face to face with David, who looked absolutely terrible.

"Hook." As David spoke Killian could swear he saw something akin to dismay cross the prince's features when he took him in. The two men stayed staring at each other, Killian wondering why his friend was so uncomfortable in his presence. "How did you-"

"What happened-" Both men spoke at the same time, which didn't help the awkward air that had settled on the room. Killian gestured for David to continue, so he took a hesitant breath before speaking.

"Snow says she's found Emma at the docks." David decided that telling the most recent events was the best cause of action, seeing as that was probably the best part.

"What the bloody hell is she doing down there, mate? And I thought Snow was watching over her, not having a stroll along the docks." Killian was aware that he was close to shouting now, but he was so past the point of being able to calm down.

"It's not Snow's fault. I sent her home to get some rest with Neal, she only left because I said I'd watch over Emma." David looked down at the floor as he spoke with such self-deprecation that Killian bit his tongue, allowing the man a chance to explain. "I sat and talked with her for a while, Snow had told what happened between you two. I made some leeway, well I thought I had." He let out a humourless half laugh despite himself. "I didn't want to push it so I let her be, and she closed her eyes and I watched over her for a bit. Then I…" He ran a hand through his hair and Killian knew what was coming before the prince said it. "I fell asleep. When I woke she was gone." The room fell silent as David lifted his gaze to lock with Killian's, as he was never one to cower away from situations just because they're difficult. However he didn't see the amount of anger that he expected to see in the pirate's eyes. There was hardly any there at all.

"Mate…" Killian trailed off, unsure of how to put what he wanted to say. He understood where the prince was coming from more than he knew. He too had fallen asleep when watching over Emma, and he had missed her waking up for the first time since this all started. This had caused her an unnecessary amount of worry and uncertainness. An act he is sure had started her mind's spiral into whatever dark place she was now. "I get it. You can't blame yourself for Emma leaving." David scoffed at that and Killian raised an eyebrow, silently asking for him to listen. "I fell asleep and because of that she woke up alone, without any explanation of what had happened. No knowledge of where her baby, our daughter was, if she was ok." The prince was giving him his full attention and he scratched behind his ear before continuing. "You Charming's say that as long as you try your best and you have good intentions then that's all you can do. It's frustrating I know, but I think you're right."

"Careful, you're starting to sound like a Charming yourself there." David chuckled, giving his friend a look that he hoped conveyed his appreciation.

"Aye, mate. I've realised that I may spend too much time with you lot." Killian laughed letting David know that there was no bad blood between them. Both men knew what they were doing. They were trying to distract themselves from the overwhelming worry they felt for the woman they both loved so much. David's phone sounded letting him know that he had a text message. They immediately sobered, holding their breath as he unlocked his phone.

"They're coming back. Snow's bringing Emma back." A grin broke out across David's face as Killian breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm going to go let Whale know. She'll need to get checked over as soon as possible." He gave the pirate's shoulder a squeeze before leaving the room. Killian thought about the fact that his family would finally be together. Emma was going to be ok, he knew it. She would meet their baby girl and he'd have them all in one place. He'd be able to look over and protect both of them at the same time. That thought relaxed him slightly, but he wouldn't truly allow himself to breathe free again until he saw Emma. Until he knew that it was real and not just wishful thinking. He decided to go to the entrance of the hospital, allowing him to see Emma as soon as she arrived. As he left the room, he saw David talking to a nurse while he waited for Whale. Killian made to explain himself but the prince just gave him a knowing look and nodded towards the exit. With a smirk he made off towards his destination, determined to fix all that had been damaged. He made his way outside in time to see the truck pulling up in front of the hospital, at a speed that wasn't exactly dangerous but he was sure was faster than Snow had ever driven.

Not that he was really thinking about that right now. Now he was focused on the blonde goddess who was currently stepping slowly down from the vehicle. He broke into a run, getting to Emma just as her feet touched the ground. She let out a sound of surprise as he wrapped her up in his arms, before melting into her true love's embrace. The world around them seemed to slow to a halt, fading into the background as Killian whispered declarations of love into her hair. Tears once again fell from Emma's eyes as she pulled back to look up at her pirate. Killian stroked a hand down her cheek, wiping the tears away as he tilted up her chin and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was sweet and gentle, neither of them pushing for more while still pouring so much emotion into the act. Emma wasn't sure if she was feeling light headed because of her current physical condition or because of the way she was being kissed. Cause damn could her man kiss. Her knees started to weaken and Killian held her against him with a strong arm around her waist; holding her up as he always did, and always would.

Snow cleared her throat next to them and the couple begrudgingly ended the kiss, still not entangling themselves just yet. They weren't ready for a break in contact. Both wondered if they ever would be able to let go. Emma let her head lull onto Killian's chest, as he turned to face his girlfriend's mother.

"Apologies milady." Killian dipped his head, unable to keep the cheeky grin from spreading across his face. Then he noticed Neal tucked against her hip, staring up at him with wide eyes. "And young prince."

"Piwate." Neal corrected as he had started doing when Killian was around. At home he would always be his mother and father's little prince, but in the presence of Captain Hook he was adamant to be a pirate.

"Aye lad, my mistake." Killian chuckled at the determination on the toddler's face.

"Don't let Dad hear you say that, Nealy." Emma winked as she finally pulled away from the embrace, keeping her hand grasped tightly to Killian's. Neal giggled as he made his version of the 'my-lips-are-sealed' gesture.

"We better get inside. Emma needs to get checked over." Snow started up the steps with Neal. "And we need to find Daddy don't we, sweets." Neal clapped at the mention of his father as the duo entered the hospital.

"Come on, love." Killian spoke gently, as if he was scared that he would spook her into leaving again. With a comforting squeeze of her hand he made towards the steps. However, Emma got woozy at the movement and leant heavily into Killian, whose arms automatically went around. "Swan, we really need to get you seen to." His voice was laced with worry as he took her in. She shook her head softly, lifting a finger to his lips when he made to object.

"What I need… is to meet our daughter." Emma had a look in her eyes which Killian knew was pointless to argue with, so he didn't.

"Nothing would make me happier." He leant forward to capture her lips in a quick kiss before helping her up the steps. As they entered the hospital they went to join her family; David was holding Neal in his arms as the little boy talked animatedly, making both parents smile. On catching site of the approaching couple, more specifically his daughter, David handed his son to his wife.

"Emma I-" His apology was cut short by Emma shaking her head as she pulled her father into a hug. Tears of relief sprung to the prince's eyes when he felt her arms around him, his hand going to cradle the back of her head instinctively.

"Dad, I'm-" Emma kept her face buried in her father's neck as tried to speak. Her apology, like her father's, was interrupted.

"Princess, you don't have to apologise to me." David leant back, lifting his daughter's chin up with his finger so that their eyes met.

"Fine. But then neither do you. It works both ways." Emma stared her father down, wincing at the self-doubt she saw in his eyes. "Deal?" David was hesitant to accept but, after a few weighted moments, he nodded. Emma smiled as she gave him one final squeeze before returning to her pirate.

"Emma, Dr Whale is with a patient right now, but he said he'll come and check you over once he's done. In the meantime, why don't you go and get some rest." Snow spoke gently, still concerned by her daughter's pale face. Not to mention the way that she, not-so-subtly, seemed to be relying on Killian to stay upright at the moment.

"Mom, I'm fine really." Emma turned towards her parents with reluctance, knowing that she wasn't up for a fight. "But I promise to rest up and get all of the tests you want me to." Snow's face lit up in delighted surprise as she went to lead the way to Emma's room. "But first, I need to see my daughter." Her mother sighed; she should have known it wouldn't be that easy.

"We understand, Princess." David laid a hand of his wife's shoulder in an attempt to sooth her worries. "We'll wait for you in your room." And, with a look to Killian warning him to keep a steadfast eye on his daughter, the prince led the rest of his family down the corridor.

"Well then, my lady." Killian brought Emma's hand up to his lips, still keeping a firm arm around her waist. "Are you ready to meet the lass who is challenging you for the title of fairest of them all?" Usually Emma would have rolled her eyes at such a remark, but on this occasion all she could do was smile. "I shall take that as a yes." He then led his beloved to the elevator, both of them thrumming with excitement.

The ride up to the children's floor was longer than either of them wanted, Emma's grip tightening on Killian's hand with each passing second. Finally the announcing ding sounded and the couple were able to exit through the metal doors. Emma could feel her heart in her throat as Killian slowed to a stop in front of one of the rooms. Their daughter's room, no doubt. She looked up at her true love, who shot her a reassuring smile before opening the door.

"After you, love." Killian's voice was thick with emotion, the amount of love in his gaze sent warmth flooding through Emma. She let out a shuddering breath, giving his hand one final squeeze before walking past him and into the room. Tears immediately clouded her vision as the reality of what was happening hit her. She took in the glass crib in the middle of room, and the tiny body lying inside. Her world fell into complete silence as she took shaky steps towards the little girl. Her little girl.

"Hey." Emma managed to choke out as she lowered herself into one of the chairs. She didn't bother to wipe away the tears falling down her cheeks, didn't really register them, as she took in her beautiful daughter. Killian was right. She was too perfect for words. A soft smile fell onto her lips at the sight of this little angel, who had been blessed to her. Emma was brought out of her peaceful trance by the Killian's hand on her arm. She didn't take her eyes off of her daughter. "Hmm?"

"A nurse is here, Emma. They've decided that Ho… um our princess doesn't need to be in an incubator anymore. She can actually be moved into your room." Killian bent down and rested his hook on Emma's knee. She glanced at him, before lifting her eyes to the nurse standing in the doorway.

"We can discharge your daughter from NICU whenever you're ready." The nurse spoke kindly, noticing a look of slight trepidation on the blonde's face. "We will need to transfer her onto the standard baby crib now, however, as the incubators are in quite high demand."

"Of course, we understand." Killian smiled at the nurse as he caressed Emma's shoulder, offering her silent comfort.

"She's going to be picked up to put her on the trolley." The nurse walked further into the room, holding Emma's gaze as she spoke. "Would you like to do the honours? To hold her?" Emma gasped at question as tears flooded Killian's eyes. He gazed up at his love and gave her a nod of his head. Emma's hand went to his cheek as fresh tears began to fall from both of their eyes.

"Yes, please." Emma whispered in response, turning her attention to her daughter. She longed to hold her baby, to keep her safe in her arms. The nurse gave the new parents as warm smile before gesturing for another nurse to bring in the trolley. Emma could feel her palms getting sweaty as she waited for the nurses to set everything up. Her breath hitched as they started to remove the tubes from her daughter. The tubes were a safety net. If anything were to go wrong the tubes could keep her baby breathing. Keep her alive. Killian started to draw soothing patterns on her hand with his thumb, reassuring her that their little girl was going to be fine. Although he had a stormy look in his eyes, as if daring anyone to try to hurt his child. It made her heart skip a beat, knowing that this man would protect their family until his final breath.

"Are you ready?" The nurse asked as she picked up the bundle of blankets, with the new-born wrapped inside. Emma nodded, willing away the tears so that she could properly see this moment. Killian let go of her hand so that she could adjust herself in the chair, as the nurse bent down to pass over the precious cargo. Once the baby was settled, the nurse shared a look with her colleague. "I'll give you a moment." Killian shot her a grateful smile before turning back to the sight before him. Truly the most beautiful sight he had ever laid eyes on. The two greatest loves in his life finally united; or technically reunited.

"Hey kid, I'm your mommy." Emma leant forward to kiss her forehead, closing her eyes to inhale that baby smell everyone always went on about. Now she knew why. She took a series of deep breaths, allowing herself to become consumed with the comfort that having her child wrapped against her chest brought.

"Swan." Killian breathed out in awe, causing Emma to look up at him. A few tears escaped down his cheeks as he nodded to their daughter. She turned her attention back to the precious bundle in her arms and gasped. Looking back up at her were the bluest eyes she had ever seen. Well they were on par with the bluest eyes she'd ever seen, as they were an exact replica of her true love's. The same eyes that seemed to gaze right into her soul. The bountiful deep pools that she couldn't escape from, and from which she didn't want to leave. The little ones gaze shifted slightly, her eyes falling on her father.

"You should hold her, Killian." Emma smiled the look of delight on his face, frowning as it faltered at her words. She knew he had trepidations, but she also knew that he needed to have their daughter in his arms.

"Emma, I…" Killian trailed off at the look on his beloved's face. He ran his hand through his hair then down over his face as he let out a self-deprecating sigh. He averted his gaze to look at the baby, his baby, snuggled comfortably in her mother's arms. "I could never forgive myself if I hurt her."

"Hey, Killian we've been over this. You're not going to hurt her. I know you won't. I trust you with all of my heart, you should too." Emma hated how much he doubted himself, when she knew he was going to be the best father their child could ask for. She waited for his eyes to meet hers, breaking slightly at the fear she saw there. "She needs a cuddle from her daddy. And you need this too, Killian. I can't tell you how good this feels. I promise that you'll keep her safe." Killian's resolve melted at her words, as he straightened to drag the other chair next to his family. His heart started beating so fast he was sure Emma could hear it as she did the exchange. He held his breath as she pulled away, leaving just him to protect this vulnerable being. Emma sat back into her chair, fresh tears falling as she looked at the pair in front of her. Her heart soared as she saw him slowly let out his breath, relaxing slightly into this new fatherly territory. The fearful look faded, leaving love and awe in its wake. And one other emotion. One she'd come to know well during her time in Storybrooke. One she realised had flooded her system the minute she held their child in her arms. Hope. Her new-born daughter that brought hope into both of their lives already. And she would surely bring hope to many more throughout her life; she was Snow White's granddaughter after all. It finally hit how right Killian had been, how right this name that she had chosen weeks ago really was. It was a perfect fit and nothing else would ever come close. "Hope." Emma smiled as her little girl seemed to turn back to look at her, as if she needed any more signs.

"What was that?" Killian stiffened as he questioned what he thought he'd heard fall from her lips, not allowing himself to have what the name describes.

"Her name." Emma rested her hand on his cheek, turning his face to rest just a breath away from her own. "It's definitely Hope." She'd barely finished the statement before his lips were on hers, giving her a quick bruising insight into his reaction.

"You mean it, Emma?" Killian panted as he rested his forehead against hers, searching for confirmation.

"I do. It's perfect for our little girl, that's why I chose it originally." The couple both looked back at the girl of the hour, just in time to see her let out a little yawn as her eyes fluttered closed. The surge of love that Emma felt from witnessing this gave her the strength she needed to bare her deepest thoughts, if only to him. "I had a dream that we'd lost her." Killian's eyes shot up at that, his heart constricting at the verbalisation of a fear that he shared. Emma let out a little sob, running a finger over her baby's cheek to prove that she was here and safe. "And… and we were at the… the funeral." She felt herself start to shake as the images came back hard and fast. Resting her head in Killian's neck, she took a few moments to distance herself before quietly continuing. "Her- the grave had 'Hope Swan Jones' on it."

"Oh Emma." Killian whispered into her hair, silently crying at what she had just described.

"I just thought I could keep her safe, keep her protected. That somehow that fate was tied to her name. I know it sounds crazy…" Emma trailed off, feeling afraid like she always did when she made herself vulnerable.

"It doesn't sound crazy, Emma, it sounds very real and terrifying for you. And if reliving it just now has made you rethink your decision, I'm sure we can find enough name that will suit her just fine." Killian spoke with such kind conviction, even though he doubted that they'd find a name as perfect.

"No, I don't want that. My mom taught me that in this family we always do what is right, not what is easy. Hope it is, and Hope it stays." Her voice carried such intensity that Killian wouldn't have argued with her even if he had wanted to. "Can I make a suggestion though?"

"Of course, love." Killian raise his eyebrow in question, feeling a weight leave his shoulders at the lightness that his love now held.

"Well she doesn't have a middle name, and didn't in my dream either so…" Emma suddenly felt slightly sheepish at her idea. Killian chuckled lightly at the way she always rambled when she was nervous, not that she admit it. He shot her a look for her to continue. "Well, I was thinking, how does Hope Leia Swan Jones sound?"

"Hope Leia Swan Jones." Killian tested it out on his tongue as he looked down at their sleeping princess. He couldn't stop from grinning as lifted his head to see Emma's unsure expression. Leaning forward he once again gave her a response without words, using languid kisses instead. This time neither pulled away until they needed air, their eyes meeting in a heated loving gaze. "Aye, Swan, I think that's bloody perfect."


	13. Chapter 13

Killian Jones didn't open his eyes as soon as he awoke. No he was going to bask in every last moment of rest he could get his hands on. He was tired. So tired. He hadn't actually thought it was possible to be so tired. And he wasn't exactly a stranger to lack of sleep. After spending centuries sailing the seas, always having to keep at least one step ahead of the law. That's not mentioning the demons that had frequently come to visit him under the dark cloak of night; both figuratively speaking and in the most real sense. However none of this had prepared him for his new-born daughter. It wasn't just the fact had he had barely gotten a wink of sleep while both her and his love were in the hospital. It was also that this sleep deprecation had continued on since they returned home. Killian knew that this was to be expected. Had read it in all of the parenting books, not to mention hearing it from the Charming's on many an occasion. He'd kind of just hoped that they were overreacting. Or that his life had prepared him for this particular discomfort. He grimaced at how naïve he had been.

This isn't to say that Killian Jones didn't love his daughter. Oh he loved her more than words could say. He wasn't sure that even love was a strong enough emotion for what he felt towards his baby girl. He would gladly never sleep again if it ensured that she would be happy and safe. That being said it would be nice once in a while to be able to get more than a few hours' sleep at a time.

He also knew that his situation bared nothing in comparison to Emma's. Christ that woman was bloody amazing. After going through such a traumatic birth, her body was still recovering. He knew that she was still in pain but she didn't let that impact on her motherly duties. No, not his strong Swan. She was breastfeeding Hope, which was proving at this stage to add to her pain and fatigue. No matter how many times he insisted that she should take it easy, allow her body the time to heal, she shooed his concerns away.

Killian turned over, intending to curl up against the woman that consumed his thoughts. His eyes shot open as his outstretched arm landed on the cold sheets next to him. He sighed laying back down on his side of the bed. For a millisecond he entertained the idea of closing his eyes and allowing the tempting call of sleep to pull him under. However he knew he couldn't sleep without Emma by his side. So, reluctantly, he raised himself into a sitting position and allowed his eyes to become accustomed to his surroundings. It was still quite dark, with the early morning light hardly making it through the curtains at all. Not bothering to throw on a shirt, he padded in his tartan pyjama bottoms towards the door. Even in his sleep-zombie-like state he knew where she would be. Killian gently pushed open the door to the nursery and his breath caught at the sight in front of him. Lighted by the faint pink glow of the nightlight was his love cradling their baby girl, both asleep in the rocking chair. Taking a few moments in the doorway, Killian looked at his beautiful little family with awe. Then, being extremely careful of his steps, he made his way over to them. They both looked so peaceful, he really didn't want to disturb them; but he knew from experience that falling asleep in that chair meant waking up with aches all over. Killian silently leaned over and laid a kiss on Emma's lips, caressing the back of her head with his hand. He felt her start to stir, so he pulled back and was met by pair of gorgeous green eyes. Those eyes that stole his breath away every time.

"Hey." Emma whispered, mindful of the sleeping infant laying on her chest.

"Hey love." Killian smiled sweetly, stroking her cheek. His gaze fell on the precious treasure in her arms. How he longed to pick her up, to see her eyes, to hear her sweet gurgles. However he also wanted to share this moment of quiet with his true love. Not to mention even pirates knew that one never woke a baby from its slumber. "How are the two most beautiful creatures in any realm?" Emma rolled her eyes at his comment, even as she felt the blush reach her cheeks. She sure as hell didn't feel beautiful. She hadn't washed her hair in days, she still carried some of the baby weight, she has deep rings under her eyes from lack of sleep and she was wearing a shirt covered in numerous stains; not all of which she could 100% identify. With the amount of times her daughter was feeding, she felt more like a bloated sore cow only good for milking. In short she felt pretty disgusting. Though Emma couldn't deny that the little girl currently clasping to her shirt was the most beautiful creature she'd ever seen.

"Well as you can see this one seems quite content at the moment." Emma rubbed soothing circles on her daughter's back.

"And I would loath to disturb that. However, I think you need to go sleep in an actual bed." Killian placed a finger to her lips as she made to object. "Please, Emma, you need this." She opened her mouth once more, but he raised an eyebrow at her. "Hope needs you, yes. She needs a mother who is taking care of herself so she can take care of her." Emma stared in her pirate's pleading eyes, before moving her gaze to the child in her arms. The innocent being who relies on them to keep her safe. To keep her alive. Deep down she knew Killian was right, as frustrating as that was.

"Ok." Emma agreed and she saw the surprise in Killian's eyes that she'd given in so easy. To be honest she wasn't expecting to either. Maybe being the mother to a new-born had made her soft, or it was just simply how good their bed sounded to her tired body. Nonetheless she stood up, with Killian's help as to not jog Hope too much, and slowly carried her to her crib. Killian gently untangled the little fingers from Emma's shirt, immediately slipping his daughter's baby blanket in its place. The baby blanket that Granny had made was perfect, almost an exact replica of Emma's; apart from the ribbon and the thread that spelled out ' _Hope_ ', was of a golden yellow colour. Emma gently laid the babe down in the crib, pulling back just as the child started to stir. The parents both held their breath, staring with wide eyes down at the infant. As the little eyelashes began to flutter, Emma was ready to tell her love that she told him so. However as quickly as the movements had started, they ceased, and Hope once again seemed overcome by a deep sleep. The couple stared at the girl lying in front of them, of the life they had created together. Neither knew how long they stood there, until finally Killian placed his hand in Emma's and lead her back to their room.

Lying in bed Killian continued to hold his love's hand, rubbing gentle patterns in the skin to try to aid her journey into sleep. He couldn't resist the urge to play special attention to one finger in particular, toying with the ring that resided there. At this Emma let out a contented sigh, the small smile that graced her lips indicating to him that she too was thinking back to that moment just a few days ago.

 _Killian rushed around the kitchen in an attempt to make sure everything was perfect. He finally had the chance to put his plan into action, and he didn't want to blow it. After how hard it had been to convince Emma to go spend time with her mother, he knew that she wouldn't stay away for long. He just wanted this to be everything that she deserved. He placed the last bouquet of flowers into a vase, lilies as they were his swan's favourite. He checked that all the flowers were placed exactly to his liking, and that all of the candles had been lit. Once he was satisfied, the pirate moved to where his daughter was gurgling happily in her bassinet. Killian picked her into his arms, enjoying the way his eyes seemed to light up with recognition for her father; although he knew at this stage that wasn't entirely likely. He carried her into the kitchen, being somewhat overly careful off the location of the candles in relation to Hope._

 _"_ _Hey little love." His heart swelled as the babe lifted her hands to his face, she always seemed fascinated with the texture of his scruff against her fingers. "What do you think, ay? D'you think mommy will like it?" Hope reached out a hand towards the petals that Killian had placed all over the house. Her father picked a couple up for her and placed them in her hand. The child regarded them for a few seconds before squeezing them tightly in her fist. "Well then, Hope, I shall take that as a yes. Now we just need your mother to say the same." Killian chuckled nervously as he made his way over to the lounge with his daughter. Setting her down on the play-mat beside him, he began to entertain her with the various objects hanging from the mobile above her head. Now we wait, he thought to himself. He hadn't expected himself to be this nervous. He knows his swan will say yes. Well, he's pretty sure that she accept his offer. They were confirmed, Zeus-approved true love. They lived together and they had a child together. It wasn't as if either of them weren't in this for the long haul. He knew Emma was committed to this relationship and to their family. His doubts probably had more to do with how he didn't see why she had chosen him. Why she continued to choose him every single day. Somewhere in his mind he still worried that one day she would wake and realise how much better she was than him, that she'd pack up and leave his life forever. Granted that fear had been less present since Hope had come into their lives, but right now, in the face of this momentous step, it was back with force._

 _The little girl below made a whimper and Killian looked down to see his daughter pouting up at him. "Oh sorry, little love, was daddy ignoring you?" He reached down and tickled her belly, until the pout made way for happy gurgles once more. It was amazing how just looking at this tiny person made his worries melt away. If their love could create something as beautiful as Hope, then there was nothing it couldn't do. He got so lost in the sound of his child, of the look on her face, in her bright eyes that he almost forgot why tonight was important. The sound of a car pulling up outside snapped him out of his trance. Quickly, Killian pulled the little black box from his pocket and placed it in the front pocket of Hope's onesie. Luckily the baby seemed too distracted by the colours and lights above her to notice. Smiling he checked the red bow that he had placed on his daughter's head earlier. His daughter seemed completely content to play a part, probably the most important part, in this moment. At the sound of Emma's keys in the lock, Killian picked up Hope and went into the foyer to greet his love._

 _"_ _Hey guys." Emma smiled brightly as she came face to face with the love of her life, holding their beautiful child. Hope's head immediately turned towards the voice of her mother, her eyes blown wide as she took her in. Emma leaned in to give Killian a sweet kiss before taking her little girl into her arms. "Hi princess, how are you, huh? Did you have a good time with daddy?" She nuzzled her nose into the child's neck, breathing it that unique scent that babies had. She had enjoy spending time with her mother, but she'd missed Hope more than she would admit. She was happy to have her safe in her arms once more. "I like this ribbon in your hair. It's very pretty." Walking her towards the lounge, Emma made to sit down on the couch, but stopped when she felt something hard against her chest. "What've you got in there, baby?" She cooed as she reached into grab out the object. Her breath left her body when she saw a little black box engraved in silver with 'For My Beautiful Mommy'. With shaky hands she opened the box and her eyes fell on an elegant engagement ring. "Killian…" Emma's voice came out breathy as she turned towards her true love. She let a gasp as her eyes fell on the kitchen for the first time. The room was lit solely by candlelight, with purple flowers strewn everywhere. Tears came to her eyes as she landed on her pirate, down on knee in the foyer with a single lily in his hand._

 _"_ _May I?" Killian could feel his heart beating faster than ever in his chest, as he held out his hand. It took Emma a moment to break through her love-fuelled daze to pass him the ring. Once she had done so she smiled down at him, waiting for those words that she hadn't realised how desperately she wanted. "Emma… I…" Suddenly Killian was lost for words, the speech he had been rehearsing in his head all day failing to appear._

 _"_ _Hey, it's just us." Emma felt a tear slip done her cheek as she leant her head on top of her daughters. "No walls, no secrets."_

 _"_ _Right you are, love." Killian spoke with a little more confidence now, but his voice was still thick with emotion. "Emma, I know for the most part your life has been uncertain, as has mine. That is until I met you. And although back then I was uncertain about how, I knew that I had to have a life with you in it. Swan, there's one thing I want you to be certain of, that I will always always be by your side. So, Emma Swan, what d'you say? Will you marry me?"_

 _"_ _Yes." Emma voiced her answer before he'd even finished the question. Killian's face lit up into a bright smile as he slipped the ring onto her dainty finger. "Yes." Holding out her hand she helped him up of the floor and he wrapped his arms around her as quick as he could. Their lips met in a passionate kiss, Emma only pulling away when Hope started tugging on her hair. She giggled as she lay a kiss on her little girl's cheek. "So daddy roped you in on this too, huh?"_

 _"_ _Oh I can assure you, love, she's the mastermind behind this. Aren't you, little love?" Killian leant down and blew a raspberry on his daughter's stomach, sending her squirming in her mother's arms. When he straightened up, chuckling at the child's reaction, he noticed the tears streaming down his love's face. Cupping her face with his hand, he used his thumb to wipe away the tear tracks. "What is it?"_

 _"_ _I'm just… happy." Emma leant into her pirate's touch, bring her free hand up to intertwine with his._

 _"_ _Aye, love, me too." Killian breathed as he titled his head to once again kiss his new fiancée._

Killian watched as Emma's features started to soften and her lips parted ever so slightly; sure fire signs that she was falling asleep. He watched her for a few moments longer and then decided to give into sleep himself. Feeling himself sinking into the mattress he closed his eyes, the memory of that day still playing through his mind.

Suddenly an insistent wail broke through the calm serenity that they had achieved. Killian's opened his eyes once more, hearing his fiancée sigh loudly next to him.

"Ugh really?" Emma grumbled as she made to sit up, but Killian's arm on hers halted her movement.

"Let me get the little one, love, you need to rest." Killian whispered in her ear as he eased her back down against her pillows. She knows she should have protested a little, or at least made sure that he was alright. However sleep was already claiming her once again. Before she drifted off completely, she heard him begin to shush their daughter. The first few lines of an old lullaby, that never failed to soothe the infant, made their way down the hall. Emma listened for along as her exhausted mind and body would allow. All the while thinking about how lucky she was. She knew that would whatever the future brought their family would get through it. Because they had Hope. And hope is a very powerful thing.

 _The End_

 _So that's it, the end of the story. I just realised that I started writing this a year ago, so thanks to all of you guys for sticking with it. I didn't really expect anyone to read it, I just posted it because I enjoy writing. To get the response I did is amazing; every review, follow, favourite and view means so much to me. I hope you enjoyed this last chapter and thought it did it justice. It is by far the fluffiest thing I have ever written; but I thought they deserved after what I put them through._

 _I am currently writing the next chapter of 'Happy Endings Aren't Always What We Expect' and hope to have it up soon. Seeing as I've just finished university for the year and haven't started my summer job yet I have loads of time to write._

 _Please feel free to send me any prompts; either ideas for where my stories could go or brand new plots. I'm happy to receive them on here or through my tumblr: oncedreamerhere._

 _Once again thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story. I love each and every one of you._


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